


Syntax Error

by Lwoorl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Additional warnings not included in the tags might be added in the notes of certain chapters, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Murder, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Internalized Homophobia, Killer Robots, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Robots, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-09-18 01:35:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16985634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lwoorl/pseuds/Lwoorl
Summary: Mankind fell and robots took over the world. But all that is old news, that's not the story you want to hear.This is a story about hate, this is a story about love, this is a story about family, this is a story about friendship. This is a story about an underground bunker, robots gaining sentience and two brothers running away from an unknown threat.But mostly, this is a story about children growing up after the end of the world.Updates 14th of every month. Chapters length may vary. Sometimes bonus chapters will be posted outside the normal update schedule.Warnings that are specific to a handful of chapters and not common enough to be listed as a tag will be added to the notes of said chapters.





	1. INSERT INTO UNDERGROUNDMONKEYS VALUES(

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a long story, like around 50 chapters kind of long story. I've been working on this thing for a while now, until today when I just said "You know what, fuck it, let's start posting it."  
> I have basically all the story planned, but there's only a handful of chapters already written. I'm hoping to learn how _not_ to take forever to update my stuff if I start a fic with actual deadlines for each chapter, but don't be surprised if I suddenly decide to go on hiatus after six chapters or so. I will try not to tho, so there's that!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _God loves all of us but is not happy with anyone._   
>  __  
>  **-Asimov**   
> 

You feel a notification going up as Roxana uses the speakers to call for a meeting. On the images from the security cameras several people start to move to the designed room.

On camera #6 you see Jake taking out his communication device (you won’t call it a cellphone, you have data on how cellphones used to look like, that thing barely works for sending texts, it’s not a cellphone) and feel a chat on pesterchum opening.

 

\--- golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:43am ---

\--- golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:43am ---

GG: Jake???

 

You turn off the damn thing before he can say anything, because he should move to the meeting instead of spending time chatting with people, whatever he has to say, he can say it later, when he isn't busy! is it that simple fact so fucking hard to understand?!

You watch him helplessly try to get the thing on before finally getting up and walking to the meeting room. If you had a mouth you would be smiling at your work.

Admittedly, you don't usually go this hard on people, but Jake's starting to make an habit out of getting distracted with stupid shit when he's supposed to be doing something else, and that you will not allow.

Besides, his communication device is so shity he won't suspect anything from your intervention.

As you watch the room starting to fill in the camera #21 you notice something big  moving at great speed on your radar, 300m west from your current location.

It's not another hunting dog, you don't even need to check the other units’ position on your map to know it, you always keep an eye on them and today the forest has been pretty empty. If any of them had decided to come closer you would know.

On the camera #22 you see Roxana stepping in front of the crowd and starting to speak. You turn on Roxy's cellphone (One of the very few things with a microphone in all SBURB, and the only thing you could accept calling a cellphone) and listen through it.

The quality of the sound sucks since Roxy’s standing far away from her mother and also keeps her phone in her pocket, but you are able to make out the words “Water” and “Shortage”.

Oh, so Roxana's finally doing something about the problem with the water supply. Since you noticed a week ago that the level of stored water was getting low you have been submitting anonymous reports almost everyday about the subject.

You don't tend to interact so directly with the enclave, usually your intervention is limited to making sure all the systems are running smoothly, monitoring the level of, well, everything, and making sure the expedition route doesn't cross with the other hunting dogs' location.

Sure, there are some little more direct interactions here and there, like turning off someone's computer when they start to get on your nerves, or adding a picture of a bunny to the next expedition's log, but doing something like making an actual report and then leaving it there for everyone to read and wonder who made it is… Calling attention to yourself like that is rare.

To be completely honest, you aren't as careful as you could or _should_. Part of this is because you're 100% sure Roxana already knows you're in her network, she's too smart not to know. The woman created the majority of the code running the place by herself, there's just no way she doesn't know already there's someone with admin privileges poking around her systems.

There's one incident in particular that gives you all the proves you need to be sure she knows:

It happened around eight years ago, when you decided to optimize the few scripts that could be better. There was a particular piece of code you rewrote, but right after you finished Roxana immediately changed it back. You rewrote it again and she put it back to how it was, over and over again, you both kept with that for days. Until, finally, one day she left a note at the start of it.

#I appreciate the intention, but this specific one was made by a dear friend who isn't around anymore and I would like it to remain the same.

At that point you still hadn't finished completely developing emotions, but you decided to do as she asked you, and left that one script alone. After a couple of days the comment on the code was replaced by a new one.

#Thank you ;)

So, you know Roxana is aware of you. Surely she doesn't know _what_ you are (she wouldn't let you stay inside her network otherwise) but she knows you're there, and because of that you developed the bad habit of getting a bit lazy covering your traces.

Lately you started having to get sneaky though, since Roxy's starting to get better and better as a programmer. She's still not at the level of her mother for sure, but she's getting there, and you think she's already a bit suspicious… Which is why you shouldn't keep using her fucking phone so often. But, there's almost no other microphone you can use to listen in the whole place goddamnit!

As Roxana keeps talking about what are they going to do you keep track on the unknown thing. Seriously, what is that? At the end you decide to go and see what's it. You do it mostly out of curiosity, but also because if it ends being something like a wolf or a bear it could turn into a problem for future expeditions later.

A couple of minutes later you end finding yourself face to face with a man. He gets immediately identified as a target.

_Well, fuck._

At least he isn't from the refugee.

It's an adult man, wearing some stupid sunglasses and a hat. As soon as he sees you he takes out a sword.

A sword, _really?_

You hold up your hand, point at him, and shot.

He cuts the bullet.

_He cuts the fucking bullet in half what the fuck?!_

He lunges, hitting you on the face, sending you flying back some meters. What the _fuck._

You stand up and dodge just as he's jumping to hit you again. You're able to get some distance and he doesn't follow you, waiting to see your next move.

You take out the curved blades from your arms and run towards him. They clash against his sword.

You keep attacking with both blades, but he's somehow able to block it all, as he keeps pointing all his attacks to your fucking face.

_The bastard knows how to kill a dog_

He trips you with his foot. You weren't expecting that, and you fall.

He holds his sword as if to sink it into your head but you stop it, trapping it between both of your blades. He pushes harder and it starts to slide off your grasp. You put more efford into pressing the blades together.

Then, you let go with one of your arms, moving it so the palm of your hand is under his chin. The sword slides free and it clashes against your face at the same time you shoot.

Everything goes black.

 

 

You wake up. Your internal clock says it's been an hour.

The first thing you notice is you lost your connection with the enclave. Shit. You start the process of getting into the network again. You left a rudimentary bot inside its systems to help you get access to SBURB's network in case it happened. It should take six hours. Fuck.

Second thing you notice is part of your head is broken. You touch your face, there's a huge crack where the sword hit you, but it isn't deep enough to actually damage anything. Good.

You get up. Next to you lies the man's body, with half his head gone and blood everywhere.

You have time until you get back into SBURB, so you look for a good patch of soil and begin to dig.

It takes three hours. You put the man inside and cover it with dirt. It's the least you can do, you suppose.

How many years has it been since you killed someone?...

It makes you feel shitty, but hey, it's not like you could have done anything else.

You leave the grave and sit down on a big rock, half a kilometer away, waiting for the network to reconnect.

When you finally get in again the first thing you notice is two new devices have been added to the system. You immediately get into them. They're pretty well secured, not that it stops you.

They seem like computers, and have a good memory capacity. You immediately go see what sensors they got. There's a gyroscope and a camera, plus a thing you don't recognize that outputs text. They don't have microphones, because of fucking course nothing in this stupid shelter has.

You access the cameras and come face to face with two guys with white hair.

At first you think one of them is the man you killed earlier, only to realize after a moment that, no, it's just your facial recognition software being a piece of shit, as always.

This dude is not only way younger but also isn't wearing a hat, having a stupid spiky hairstyle instead, and one of his arms is in a case.

Even though you know it's obviously a different person, you can't avoid feeling you're seeing the older man, not only because he's wearing the same kind of weird shades, but also because his facial features are really similar.

You create a new archive for him, once you get enough information you shouldn't have problems recognizing him... For the most part. Your facial recognition software is truly a ton of crap, it works fine most of the time but once in a blue moon you still confuse Roxy and Roxana, or John and Jane. You should get into fixing it someday. But you also won't, because you're an idiot who loves creating more problems than necessary.

You create an archive for the other guy too. He also seems a bit like the older man, but not enough that you would confuse the 2 of them. You suppose the 3 humans must be related somehow.

Both of them seem to be talking and you decide the image's resolution is good enough to try your lip reading software. You made it around a year ago, trying to get around mankind's irrational hatred towards microphones, but the image quality of the security cameras is so low it has been basically useless so far.  
  
**Transcript from Da-ST**  
Dave he isn't going to- Listen he didn't show up here if he was going to find us he would have done it already I think we will be ok- No one would survive outside for so long- Dave you heard the shotgun back there he probably is- Dave listen to me- It hardly matters anymore we were able to get here we can't do anything else-  
  
**Transcript from Di-ST**  
Do you think bro- You don't know that what if- He could be outside planning how to get us back or- No there's no way they could kill him you- You saw what he did to that libra unit- He's going to-  
  
I seems safe to say they're talking to each other, and based on the movements of the camera, you decide the lenses are on the glasses they're wearing, even if you can't see where exactly it is.

While they keep talking you check if there's any new fine on the enclave's population archives and as you expected you find 2 files that weren't there before.They're registered as Dirk and Dave, neither of them has any last name in their files and other than their pictures, a list of injuries and a date of arrival there isn't anything else under their names yet.

You add their information to your own archive. If Roxana registered their profiles in the database it means they're officially part of the community and you trust her enough that if she's ok with welcoming these people as part of her home then you're going to see them as official members of the enclave too.

You access to the security cameras and find them on the camera #B9, they're in the infirmary, still talking. You keep transcribing their conversation while looking at them through the 3 cameras. While you're at that on the camera #D32 you see John stealing a can of cocoa powder from the kitchen on the north side and add "Checking the food inventory" to Jane's list of chores.  
  
  
**Transcript from Di-ST**  
Nothing has ever stopped him do you really think- Dirk if bro finds us he will he's going to- I'm not- I'm chill like a fucking cherry on top of the free ice cream little Timmy got for his birthday- Shit is damn sub zero around here- Little Timmy tried to eat his vainilla and gets his brain blown up that's- How chill it's over here mommy's gonna run to the hospital and be like help my child was murdered- With a frozen cherry and the doctors will be all yep- That's the coolest motherfucking fruit ever- the family's gonna fill the anti mcdonald's coffee lawsuit- What do you mean was- mcdonalds is eternal- The yellow clown lives on in the heart of those who believe haven't- You heard all you need is faith and confidence and cocaine- Listen I just- Maybe we should tell them he was following us they- If he gets here they should know- If anyone needs to rest that's- You- You're worse than me and I know you haven't sleep- In two days-

  
**Transcript from Da-ST**  
You're panicking- You're rambling- How do you even know what mcdonalds was- Dave- It has been a long day go to sleep tomorrow- They said we could wait till tomorrow to answer their questions- We will think what else to do next then- For now just try to rest you're injured- Ok I will go to sleep if you- Try doing that too-  
  
  
You can see Dave taking off his glasses through the other 2 cameras, leaving them next to the bed, so you can't properly see Dirk's face anymore.

Thanks to Dirk's camera you notice his eyes are red and add that bit of info to his archive. You wonder if he suffers some illness, at the very least Dave's eyes must be light sensitive, that would also explain the sunglasses. On Dirk's file you spend a good paragraph speculating whether or not he shares Dave's condition.

You see Dirk saying something on the security camera but can't know what, and Dave nods in response. After that both guys proceed to go to sleep on the infirmary's beds, as they said they would. You suppose Roxana hasn't assigned them actual rooms yet.

On the rest of the cameras you can see several people are already locked in their rooms, and those who aren't yet are on their way. It's around 11pm now that you take notice of the hour. You access the registers on the security cameras and check the recordings of the time you were disconnected, playing them at high speed.

For the first four hours or so of footage nothing particular happens, just everyone keeping on with their daily routine. The most noteworthy thing in those hours of video is probably that Jade and Roxy worked on fixing the power generators #2 and #9.

Then, at 4:13pm there's what seems to be a bit of commotion on the control room, followed by some movement on the hallway that goes to the west tunnel, the one that leads to the forest. Some people running towards the end of the hallway and you can't know exactly what happens there, since there aren't cameras inside the tunnels.

23 minutes worth of video later you see Mr.Egbert coming back from the tunnel, carrying Dirk on his back as he walks inside, followed by John and Jade supporting Dave. Both of them seem to be hurt and you don't even need to wonder what their condition is, their medical files show that Dirk has a broken arm and a deep cut on his back. Dave has a minor infection on his left leg and both have several little scratches and bruises.

After that they get dragged to the infirmary and the medical team treats them. Roxana adds them to the database. Some people stand around the infemery probably gossiping about them. Jane brings them some food. Etc.

The footage finishes without anything else of interest happening.

You run a checklist of the refugee's systems as you keep monitoring the enclave on the back of your mind, as always. After some minutes everyone is already asleep except for Roxana, who is working on something on her personal computer in the control room but that isn't weird coming from her.

What is weird is that when you check what she's working on you see she's trying to prove an old math equation. In general Roxana only will stay awake at night for 4 reasons: The first and more common one is when she's working on something that needs to be done for the refugee's sake, such as updating the systems, making sure there's enough food and medicine, or planning for the next expeditions outside.

The second is when she started to read or watch something about wizards but didn't have the time to continue it on daytime, in that case she will sacrifice her sleep in order to finish the story, ever since Roxy started to share with her her "wizard fanfiction" this has became also pretty common.

The third one is rare, when she's too stressed and spends the night rewatching movies, usually also about magic, but this can also happen with any kind of movie. This is different from the second one, in the second case she stays awake because she's excited about  finishing a story and not sleeping is just a byproduct, while in this case she stays awake for the sake of staying awake.

The last one, the one she's doing right now, trying to prove different math theorems that shouldn't have an actual answer, or making functions for complex and pointless stuff, you only have seen her doing when someone dies or is about to. It can last several nights, with she trying to lost herself into some physical or mathematical stuff until she either solves it or moves past it.

The last time you saw her doing this was a couple of years ago, when a kid died in an accident and she was glued to the computer every night for a month, trying to module a function for predicting where every single drop of water would fall in a storm based only on the wind conditions.

No one has died since then though, you would know, and after reviewing the recordings you are 100% sure the most noteworthy thing that happened today was the arrival of the two kids.

Maybe this is just the way she reacts when someone new joins the enclave without any warning, it had never happened before, so you can't know how she would act in this circumstances, but reacting as if someone had died... Isn't it kind of out of place?

You decide to let her be, there's no way of knowing what that woman's thinking anyway, no matter how much thought you put into it. Instead you keep watching everything that's happening through the cameras and once there isn't any movement in the hallways able to keep you entertained you reproduce a movie at normal speed inside your head, although you don't stop keeping a metaphorical eye on the place, as always.

It's almost second nature to keep looking over these humans while you take care of other tasks at this point. Which... Probably makes it kind of worthless as a hobby, fuck it, no one can tell you how to pursue your hobbies!

Around one hour into the movie, when Jennifer is confessing her love to Adam, you sense movement near you. It's another hunting dog, according to the map, and at first you are going to ignore it, but then you hear the sound of fabric shifting and realize who it is.

You turn your face towards the Virgo unit without pausing the movie. It's wearing a different dress than last time you saw each other and you notice it's carrying what seems to be a bucket filled with glass. It probably will use it to make more clothes or some kind of accessory, won't it?

When it looks at your direction you wave with your left hand. It waves back at you and disappears back into the trees.

After that you spend the night rewatching a couple of other movies and disjointing your attention into a bunch of different tasks, one of them being cataloging all the rocks around you. You really need a new hobby.

At 4am, punctual as always, Mr.Egbert and the other members in charge of the meals wake up to start cooking everyone's food in their respective stations. At 6am or so people start to leave their rooms and go to the cafeteria to grab breakfast.

Some hours later Jane goes to wake up the new guys, checks their wounds and bring them food. After they eat Roxana checks on them and they talk for a while, you suppose she's asking them what, where, when, how, and why the everloving fuck they showed up out of tin air, they weren't looking at her while she was talking, so you have no way of knowing for sure.

You feel several chats going on around the day but don't really pay attention to any of them as you know most of them will just be gossip. You're bored but you aren't desperate enough to put yourself through that kind of torture.

Oh who are you kidding?! of course as soon the first one opens you're reading with the eagerness of an ant colony on which a kid dropped his ice cream, because you apparently hate yourself.

As expected most of them are filled with the kind of human nonsense that makes you want pull your blades against the scratch on your face and finish the adult human's job. In fact, the only thing that keeps saving you from a more than justified self immolation at hands of the humans' stupidity is your godlike level of patience and calm that could make Buda himself come back from Nirvana to ask you to take him as your 12th disciple, right before getting his head blown off for being stupid enough to approaching a killer robot, but even that wouldn't get closer to lick the feet of the level of stupidity you have to deal with on a daily basis from this bunch of sub soil dweller monkeys!

You are almost too caught up on your own misery, beholding other conversation just as stupid-like as that one, that you almost miss when a new pesterlog opens that includes a new chumhandle

 

\--- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering txGx [TG] at 6:21pm ---

TT: The notice has come to my ears that our dear leader and self proclaimed “best mother ever” has ordered her elder daughter to assist you and who we all have, silently, agreed is your brother on moving to your recently assigned rooms.

TT: However, as Roxy seems to be occupied at the moment it has fallen back on me to take care of this task.

TT: Your room's number is 103C and Dirk's is 341F. They're located on the south side, C floor, and west side, F floor respectively. It shouldn't be hard to find them using the map I'm sure my mother provided you with.

TG: woah woah stop the car a fuckig kids on the road and youre gonna splash red all over the street

TG: do you wanna explain to the jury why you turned little jimmy into abstract art sir

TG: at least dogs are quick and clean with it but no poor kid died looking all ala picasso like the screaming portrait man

TG: it was mothers day and all ironys cruel like that

TG: and now jimmys mommys crying all over the court and the jurys shaking his hesd do you wanna make the jury smash your head with his god sent hammer

TG: i dont think so

TT: Even though I would love to see where does this tangent lead us as much as anyone else. Alright. The metaphorical car has stopped, go on, what do you need clarification of?

TG: well first whats this some kind of secret facebook or something?

TG: how do i have an account on this thing and most importantly how do you know dirks name

TT: Oh, please. I would be surprised if there was a single person in all Sburb who doesn't know your names yet. Believe it or not, despite the fact it was fairly common on the old times for people to visit other places, ever since the androids started to roam on earth it isn't such a daily occurrence to have surprise visits anymore.

TT: Shocking, I know.

TT: As to answer your first question though, this is pesterchum. You aren't totally wrong at comparing it with our dear deceased Facebook, or at least its messagery system, supposing that what I know about how it used to be is accurate, but I would much rather say it resembles more closely the thing that was WhatsApp, or even MSJ.

Through Dirk's glasses you see Dave looking at him and asking "What's WhatsApp?" (To which Dirk answers "It was a bit like MSJ." For Dave's obvious disappointment) before focusing back o the conversation. You aren't sure how he's sending messages with his glasses without typing into a keyboard and you know it isn't with voice commands since his glasses doesn't have microphone. You suspect it has something to do with the sensor that you still haven't been able to identify.

TT: Roxana probably installed it in your computers as soon as you connected them to the local red. You can change the handle later, but it's required that you keep the same initials. It also can't be anything offensive or sexual, for our complete teenager population's despair.

TG: awww shucks there goes my plans of finally been named after mr.dickhotasses just as my parents always wanted

TG: youre making my ghost parents cry tt you cant hear them but ive their curse all over me

TG: theyre crying over their sons lost name its fuckig noah ark over here but ok i guess i can think of some other cool name

TT:...

TT: As a showing of good faith towards the newcomers, I had previously decided to refrain myself from reading too deeply into anything you throw at me during our first conversation. Even if you aren't making it any easier.

TT: But be warned, this courtesy won't extend to our next encounter.

TG: what

TT: Anyway, back to our task at hand, in the case you two aren't able to find your rooms by yourself I'm sure Roxy will be free soon to actually lead you to them, as it was initially her original quest.

TG: nah dont worry if we get lost we can always camp at a hallway

TG: become hermits of the passages

TG: living in community with the mushrooms growing on the walls

TG: haunt the elevators and steal the food from the kitchen to give it to our rat kids

TG: we will become a legend or like an urban myth

TG: the kids at night will go crying with their mommy saying help me mama i saw the monsters of the hallway under my bed

TT: I will make sure to pass the message to my mother and sister. Good luck with your new life as the beast of the labyrinth. Now, if you excuse me...

TG: wait first whats your name dont you know its rude to just come here and kicking me out of my newly found nursery kingdom and then leaving me to my destiny as a cryptid without at least introducing yourself

TT: Of course, how untactful of me.

TT: My name is Rose.

TG: rose. like the old plant. noted

TG: well then rose i guess its time for me to follow my destiny of getting lost in this fuckingly huge building

TT: Good riddance.

\---tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 6:34 pm---

  
  
After that first conversation with Rose, Dave tells his brother about their rooms. They separate at the closest stairs and you follow them through the cameras. Surprisingly, they manage to get to their rooms fairly easily. A lot of people who have spent most of their lives in the enclave still get lost from time to time when having to go to sections they don't tend to visit.

After they enter their rooms you can't watch them with the security cameras anymore but you still can use their glasses.

Their rooms are the standard 3mx4m bedroom, barely big enough for a bed and a closet, just like all the other rooms in the enclave. Somehow it feels weird looking inside their rooms, bedrooms are some of the few places without surveillance, so you only have seen a bit of them from time to time through people's personal electronic devices, and never as long nor as detailed as the boy's cameras let you.  
It feels like a violation of privacy, which is funny, considering you know what is in everyone's computer and read everyone's pesterchum chats, but that's how it feels, like this is a place you shouldn't be in, so you decide to get out from their glasses, for now.

You still keep track of their conversations over pesterchum though.

\--- txTx [TT] began pestering txGx [TG] at 7:01pm ---

TT: Did you find your room?

TG: yeah no problem with that my head is a gps man

TT: Both of us literally have a GPS in our shades, so I suppose your statement is correct.

TG: exactly

TG: how did you find out how to use this thing anyway

TG: actually dont answer that youre a computer genious obviously you know how to use this thing

TT: “This thing”?

TG: the chat thing i didnt even know we could use this chat until that other girl told us about our rooms

TG: i still dont know how to start a conversation with someone else only how to answer

TT: It’s not that hard to use, although I suppose this is the first time you encounter any kind of organized platform that allows users to talk freely, so it’s only natural you’re having a hard time with it.

TG: oh as if you encountered one before

TT: Actually, I did. Our refuge briefly had a terrifyingly similar system some years ago, but it was dismounted soon after it was first implemented. I suppose that was to be expected, since Bro has always been so adamant on limiting people’s communication to only what concerns the refuge’s operations.

TT: Although I probably would be able to use pesterchum even if it wasn’t the case.

TG: wtf i dont remember that

TT: You were too young, you probably didn’t even use it once before it got taken down.

TG: dirk youre two years older than me what the fuck does you were too young mean

TT: See, I disagree on that, children’s development can vary significantly from one year to another. Even a couple of months can make a huge difference if we start to compare babies.

TG: omg im not having this conversation

TG:

TT:

TG:

TG: how do you end a conversation on this thing

\--- txTx [TT] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 7:10pm ---

 

\--- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering txTx [TT] at 7:23pm ---

TG: hey where are you guys

TG: you arent @ the nursery

TG: oh shit did you try to find your rooms and got lost

TT: We did in fact try to find our rooms, but contrary of your supposition we didn’t have any problems reaching them.

TG: oh shoot im sorry you had to go look for it alone how did you even know where to go

TG: i mean congratulations getting there i know its hard to move around here!

TG: but i was supposed to help you so sorry man :(

TT: It’s ok. Someone called Rose, who I believe is your sister, informed my brother you were busy and proportioned us with our rooms number, so we didn’t have to figure where to go without any help.

TG: oh boy i owe rose a big one

TT: We showed here yesterday without any previous warning, it’s just understandable people would have a hard time to alter their routine in order to accommodate time for helping us with pesky tasks, such as making our way to out own damn room. So don’t worry about not having being available at that moment.

TG: boy im glad youre ok with my fuckup but i still feel bad

TG: tell you what how abt i show you and your bro the whole place tomorrow!

TT: Are you sure you would have the time for that? We don’t want to be a hassle.

TG: yeah dont worry i can make the time!

TG: it will be fun!

TT: I would actually really appreciate it. You will have to ask Dave if he wants to participate though, there’s a good chance he would prefer to explore the place by himself for a day or two.

TG: got it

TG: im roxy btw nice to meet you

TT: I’m aware everyone here already knows my name, but, I’m Dirk. It’s also nice to meet you, Roxy.

TG: ;)

\--- txTx [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  at 7:37pm ---

 

\--- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering txGx [TT] at 7:37pm ---

TG: hey davey!

TG: wait is it ok if i call you davey

TG: yeah

TG: uh

TG: call me whatever

TG: not to be rude but who are you

TG: oh yeah i havnt introduce myself hahaha i got excited for a moment there sorry

TG: hiven*

TG: heaven*

TG: didnt*

TG: my names roxy

TG: i was supposed to help you guys finding your rooms

TG: so first of all sorry for that

TG: oh no its ok we found them just fine

TG: yeah thats what your brother told me but still

TG: so you talked with dirk

TG: yeah just now

TG: so i was telling him since i left you hanging there how abt i compensate showing you 2 the place tomorrow?

TG: it will be like having a tourist guide!

TG: uh

TG: so what do you say? :)

TG: ammm

TG: i mean thank you for the offer but

TG: i think i would prefer to explore by myself instead

TG: if thats ok

TG: yeah dont worry dude

TG: i get it if you wanna go to explore and stuff!

TG: if you ever want a guided visit on the future just tell me

TG: alright

TG: thank you

TG: no prob :)

TG:

TG: i actually dont know how to end a chat here yet

TG: oh

TG: ok so

TG: 1st you need to right click the little window with the chat

TG: then youre gonna see a list of options

TG: theyre pretty clear with their names so

TG: oh ok ok

TG:

TG: ok i think i got it

\--- txGx [TG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  at 7:53pm ---

 

  
Neither Dave nor Dirk come out of their rooms for the rest of the day and for a while you think the night will end as normal, but then, around the time people are starting to retire to their rooms to sleep, you see Roxana moving to the armory and retrieving her riffle.

This by itself isn't that weird and at first you suppose she's going to work on her weapon or something like that. It's when she goes to the kitchen and packs a bottle of water and a package of bread and dry fruit that you notice something's very wrong.

You concentrate on her as she moves through the hallways and soon there's no doubt about where she's going, she's walking in the direction of the exit, the tunnel near the forest, the one the two kids used to enter.

Fuck.

You have absolutely no idea of what she's fucking doing. It's obvious she's planning on going outside, but the closest expedition is planned for a month in the future, yet given the fact she packed food she's probably planning on a at least one day trip. It's just too dangerous to leave alone, it doesn't matter how good she is with her weapon, one single human can't beat an android, If she goes out and encounters one hunting dog she's dead.

Not only that but she's deciding to exciting through the forest side, you check on your map and there are other two units patrolling near that area. There's no way she won't find one of them. Shit.

You watch as she moves, silently praying someone will see her and confront her about why she's carrying her weapon while walking towards one if the tunnels but somehow she hasn't found anyone so far.

You decide you can't hope for someone to stop her and try to turn of the fire alarm… But, it doesn't work.

Why?! The speakers should be screaming non-stop as soon the alarm fired, why are they silent?! You try to activate the rest if the alarms but none of them work either. Why? Why is the system failing now?! How didn't you notice before?!

Suddenly you realize what's going on. She planned it.

You have no idea how she managed to do it without you noticing, but somehow she unabled you from firing the alarms. She planned it so you couldn't stop her!

That fucking suicidal ape left you with no other solution than watch helplessly as she goes and dies!

As if listening to your pleas, Mr. Egbert turns in the hallway at just the right time to be face to face with Roxana.

Good, this is good. Mr. Egbert is a sensible person, he will notice there's something wrong with her and convince her to stop whatever she's doing. Great, fucking great, crisis averted!

Except… He doesn't. Both adults stop to talk for a moment and even though you can't hear what Roxana’s saying, it seems to be enough to convince Mr. Egbert that everything is alright.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

You can't hope someone will stop her anymore.

There's only one solution you can think of, but you don't like it.

Sure, she already knows you exists but you really, really don't like the idea.

On the other hand, you seriously don't want to just watch and let her die. If you're don't interfere she's going to die for sure and then the fucking place will fall apart.

Fuck.

You make up your mind as she's opening the door that leads to the tunnel. Fuck it. You aren't just sitting and watching her throw away her life.

 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting neuroendocrineScape [NS] at 9:06pm ---

CG: ROXANA, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! DO YOU HAVE A SUICIDAL WISH?! ARE YOU A FUCKING LEMMING? IS THAT IT? DO YOU JUST HAVE A SECRET URGE TO JUMP FROM A CLIFF?!

CG: TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!

 

Well, you did that, you actually fucking contacted her. Directly. No turning back now. You watch her taking out her tablet and reading your message.

 

NS: Oh my, just look who we have here.

NS: It isn't anyone else but our resident hacker, actually sending a message instead of lurking around ÔoÔ! My! What's the occasion?

CG: YOU TRYING TO FUCKING BECOME DOG MEAT IS THE OCCASION, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN THINKING?!

CG: IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF SO BADLY WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOT YOUR HEAD RIGHT HERE?! IF IT'S TRULY AS EMPTY AS YOU'RE MAKING IT LOOK THERE WON'T BE ANY BRAIN TO CLEAN LATER! IF YOU WON'T THEN FUCKING TURN AROUND NOW, ROXANA. I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T STUPID OR SUICIDAL ENOUGH TO TURNING INTO DOG BAIT BUT IT SEEMS I WAS WRONG!

NS: Offing myself or turning back, truly both tempting proposals.

NS: I will have to ignore your kind advice tho, there's something I need to do outside.

\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] ceased pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 9:21pm ---

CG: ROXANA, IF YOU GO OUTSIDE YOU'RE GOING TO DIE. THERE ARE DOGS NEAR THE FOREST EXIT.

neuroendocrineScape [NS] is now an idle chum!

CG: FUCKING TAKE YOUR TABLET BACK! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE IGNORING ME

CG: AT LEAST EXIT THROUGH ANOTHER FUCKING DOOR!

CG: ROXANA DON'T FUCKING TRY GOINT OUTSIDE, I ORDER YOU! STOP ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!

neuroendocrineScape [NS] is now an idle chum!

CG: GODDAMNIT!

 

Fuck. Fuck. You can't stop her. You really can't stop her. You even tried contacting her directly and that didn't work either!

_Roxana is going to die._

Fuck.

You watch helpless as she opens the door and disappears inside the tunnel. No. No, you aren't letting this happen. No fucking way.

You need to make someone stop her on your place.

Who though? You don't want to try sending any of the adults,  it would probably end just like with Mr. Egbert, and you don't really trust any of them that much.

The obvious choice is to send one of her daughters, but Rose probably wouldn't listen to an extranger and Roxy's already suspicious of your existence, and any of the members of the J family would probably end telling everyone about you.

You think on the new two guys. They don't know that many people yet, so if you play your cards right you could make them believe you're just a normal member of SBURB. Whoever you choose, you have to pick quickly, Roxana is already disappearing into the tunnel.

Dirk seems to doubt of his own shadow, so that would leave Dave. You send him a message and brace yourself.

 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting txGx [TG] at 9:25pm ---

CG: DAVE, I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE FOREST EXIT AND STOP ROXANA.

TG: wow now whos this and stop who from what

TG: you cant come to a dudes house asking for stuff at least buy me dinner first

CG: GODDAMNIT DAVE, THIS IS SERIOUS! ROXANA IS ABOUT TO GO OUT ALONE AND I NEED YOU TO STOP HER BEFORE SHE GETS HERSELF KILLED!

TG: wait what

TG: isnt leaving really dangerous

CG: YES, IT IS. NOW STAND THE FUCK UP AND GO MAKE HER LISTEN TO REASON

TG: why dont you go then though

CG: I TRIED, SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME AND SHE MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO REACH HER!

TG: wait did she lock you somewhere or something

TG: because if this will end me in jail i dont think its a good plan

TG: and isnt she like the leader anyway shes probably got a good reason for that

CG: YOU IDIOT  DON'T FUCKING GET IT, THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT HER, IF SHE DIES THIS WHOLE PLACE WILL FUCKING FALL TO PIECES!!

TG: why are you asking me anyway

TG: isnt there a better choice for help than someone who showed up like yesterday

TG: didnt she had kids what about them

CG: JESUS CHRIST, DAVE, THERE'S NO TIME FOR THIS SHIT!!!!

TG: uh

CG: WHILE YOU'RE LOSING TIME ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS SHE'S WALKING THROUGH THE TUNNEL!! DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PLACE FALLING DOWN ONCE NO ONE'S HERE TO RUN IT?!

TG: hey now what no

CG: BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WILL FUCKING HAPPEN, AND I ASSURE YOU IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT FOR NOT EVEN LEAST *TRYING* TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING!!!

TG: ok jesus fine

TG: this seems shady as hell but sure whatever i will go why not

CG: OH, THANKS FUCKING GOD.

\--- txGx [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 9:36pm ---

 

You watch through the cameras as Dave moves to follow Roxana. Once he reaches the entrance of the tunnel you switch to see through his shades.

She finds her after fifteen minutes of entering the tunnel, walking towards the exit as if nothing was wrong.

She turns towards him, Dave probably said something to get her attention.

Roxana walks towards him and looks him right on the eyes. Then she speaks. It's really dark, but you're still able to make out what she says.

 

**Transcript from Da-ST**

You and your brother are Striders, aren’t you?

 

There’s a little jerk of the camera, as if Dave just jumped a bit. You have no idea what Roxana’s words mean, but they seem to have affected Dave, as the image changes to a wall. He’s avoiding her face.

Roxana’s hand comes into your view as she apparently rests it on Dave’s cheek and redirects his gaze towards her. Then the other one moves towards the camera and you find yourself looking at the ceiling. She probably moved the shades away, letting them on his hair.

You wait for several minutes looking at the ceiling. The image barely moves, at most jerking from time to time. Then, finally, after almost half an hour Dave puts the shades back on his eyes, and you see Roxana walking back towards the enclave.

If you had lungs, you would sigh with relief right about now.

 

You wait until she’s back on the enclave’s cameras and Dave starts walking back to his room to send her a message. Luckily she answers this time.

 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting neuroendocrineScape [NS] at 10:48pm ---

CG: WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN, NOW THAT YOUR LOBOTOMIZED MONKEY BRAIN IS *APPARENTLY* WORKING TO ITS USUAL CAPACITY AGAIN

GG: WHY, OH, WHY IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD AND NICE AND SMELLS LIKE FUCKING DETERGENT DID YOU DECIDE IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE A WALK, ALONE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE????!!!

NS: Hello to you too.

CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING TRY EVADING THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWER ME, YOU GODDAMN MAD WOMAN!!

CG: ROXANA, WHY THE HELL WERE YOU PLANNING TO TRAVEL OUTSIDE WHEN YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THE PROBABILITY OF YOU COMING BACK ALIVE FROM AN UNPLANNED TRIP IS A 0,000000000000FUCK%?!

NS: Nope ;)

CG: WHAT DOES “Nope ;)” FUCKING MEAN????!!!!

NS: I mean “Nope ;)” as in “I'm not telling you, oh all powerful hacker.”

NS: Girls gotta keep secrets to themselves, don't you think? v(ovo)v

CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S A DAMN GOOD IDEA TO REFUSE TO ANSWER TO THE UNKNOWN PRESENCE THAT CAN TAKE CONTROL OVER THAT PLACE'S NETWORK AT ANY MOMENT IF IT WANTED??!! I COULD KILL YOU ALL RIGHT NOW IF I DECIDED TO DO SO! IT WOULD BE EASY, JUST A SNAP OF MY METAPHORICAL FINGERS AND I COULD DESTROY THE VENTILATION SYSTEM!!! ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION. NOW.

NS: Oh, I know exactly WHAT you are, doggy, and I'm not scared.

NS: Do you seriously don't realize I could put any AI on a leash anytime I wanted?

NS: You're the one who seems to not know its position, puppy ;)

CG: FUCK

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] has blocked neuroendocrineScape [NS] ---

NS: Lmao!

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: Nooooo, come back dude, I was kidding! Ha ha ha

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: I've virtually no power over you omg, I didn't think you would actually fall for that.

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: The most I could do to you would be to kick you out of the network

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: Man, I can't believe I scared off a damn military drone by sheer force of intimidation. lol

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: Bluffing game so strong it can go against both metal and flesh! I deserve a goddamn medal (9òvó)9

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: To be fair, you started. I know damn well yours was an empty threat too lmao.

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: Ha ha ha, whatever dude, I know you will unblock me in like a week if not less ;)

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

NS: And if you don't I will just unblock it myself, who do you think runs this thing? Lol

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] ceased pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 11:11pm ---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up one day at 2am, covered on sweat and with my hands shaking. I took my cellphone and began writing the outline of this story as if my life depended on that. Then went back to sleep. I woke again at 10am with no memory of what I wrote. Then I looked over the plans for the first 20 chapters and went "Hmmm... This could work" and continued it.  
> I THINK this is inspired by black mirror's episode Metal Head?????? But you would have to ask dream me to be sure. I'm 20% sure that's what I watched before going to sleep that night, so?????
> 
> Comments make me stronger. Comments make me want to write more. Comments make me _not_ going into a year long hiatus. Please guys, leave a comment, no matter how small, and I will be grateful to you for the rest of my life.


	2. Ribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Ribs (Latin: costae) are the long curved bones which form the rib cage. In most tetrapods, ribs surround the chest, enabling the lungs to expand and thus facilitate breathing by expanding the chest cavity. They serve to protect the lungs, heart, and other internal organs of the thorax._   
>  __  
>  **-Wikipedia**   
> 

You can't move. You can't move or it will get you. _Don't make a sound._

With your ear against the door you can hear it, dragging its cane against the pavement, its feet making a soft tap tap tap tap. You can tell it's walking around the room by the way it quietens and then becomes louder. It's also stopping here and there, before resuming its walking cycle.

Instinctively, you hold your breath anytime it pauses, as if expecting it to find you. This time, surely this time it will get you. Surely this time it knows where you are. You can see Dirk does the same, he's breathing on your neck.

This continues for a while, and then, as the sound seems to be getting quieter, when it's the point where it's supposed to get closer again, it just keeps diminishing, until you don't hear anything at all.

You turn your face towards Dirk, you can't make his face in the darkness but you know he's as scared as you. The both of you listen to the silence a couple minutes before he nods.

Slowly, very carefully, you open the door, making sure to avoid making any noise, and, once it opens enough to let a little ray of light inside the space you both are curled in, you move to peek through the crack.

What you find at the other side is the android's face, the toothy smiling face painted on its black hull barely 5cm from yours. Your entire body freezes, and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from gasping and getting yourself killed. You're surprised it doesn't find you just by the loud sound your heart makes when it jumps.

It doesn't... It doesn't seem like it knows you're there though, otherwise you would be dead already.

You want to close the door and go back to curling inside the closet, but can't risk it hearing you and actually knowing you're there, so you stay just like that, face to face with the hunting dog, holding your breath.

You can imagine it all too well, the bodies of you and your brother lying at the dog's feet, a hole on your chest, made by the pointy end if its cane, or maybe it would shoot you instead, leaving your brain scattered all over the walls, before leaving you two to rot.

Eventually, it leaves, walking towards something else while scratching the floor with the cane. You slide the door closed as fast as you can without making a sound and go back to rest your back against the wall of the closet, next to Dirk. You barely moved in order to look outside and yet you feel like you just ran a marathon, with your heart going crazy and your stomach twisted in a knob.

Dirk taps your shoulder. You shake your head. Not yet. The thing's still outside, you have to wait. _You still have to wait._

How long will you need to wait? Until it runs out of battery? Until you start to starve? How long can that thing go on without charging anyway? There's almost no sunlight entering through the windows, so it's gotta run out eventually, right? ...Or maybe it's enough with the little light there is for it to keep going forever, in which case you both are fucked.

Suddenly, there's a loud metallic sound and Dirk opens the door a little to see what’s going on. In a second he's standing up, telling you to follow him, and as you get out of the closet you see Bro fighting the blind robot. He pauses to look at you and you know if it wasn't because he's fighting the thing you would be dead already. From which one of them you aren't sure.

As you get out of the building you hear the robot laugh, a mechanical, unnatural sound, like one of those text to speech softwares, followed by the sound of a shoot and then silence. You turn towards Dirk only to discover he isn't there anymore, there isn't any trace of the building either. You're alone in the middle of a forest.

You begin to walk, holding your sword up, scanning your surroundings for any threat. As you keep going the trees start to appear more and more closer to one another, making it harder to advance, until you can't fit between them.

You're about to turn back, but then, looking through the space between the trees, you see a figure. It's a woman with short, pink hair. Her back is towards you, and somehow you feel like you just _have_ to get closer.

You release your sword and push at the trees with your bare hands, trying to make the gap wider. After some seconds of pushing they actually start to move apart, as if made of rubber.

Once the gap is big enough for you to pass you squeeze in and walk in the direction of the woman. She turns around and bends down, her face close to yours. Then she holds up her hands and cups your cheeks, carefully, as if you were made of glass. Her eyes are soft and kind, and for some reason you can’t understand, it makes you want to cry.

“You are a Strider, aren't you?” She says, while carefully removing your glasses from your face, before starting to pet your hair and you just can't move.

“You both look just like Diego. He's your father, am I right?” She whispers and as she says that her hair starts to turn white.

Her hands suddenly move to your neck, not actually hurting you, but holding you. You shift a little and tug at her wrists, trying to get free of her grasp, but she doesn't let you go.

“He was my brother.” Her voice and eyes are still kind, but her hands are starting to tighten around your neck. You can see her face shifting, her jaw turning wider, more angular, her nose losing its roundness and becoming all hard angles. The hands around your neck are suddenly callous.

You try to get free with everything you can, you kick her, punch her, tug at her hair, but nothing works, her hands are becoming bigger, surrounding your neck.

She gets closer, her face mere centimeters in front of you and as her arms and legs become wider he says “He came here, alongside you and your brother, didn't he?”. Finally, he starts to strangle you, pushing your back against the trees. And as she does so the bark begins to morph into a mass for hands that start to pull you in.

He keeps pushing you inside the mass of hands, and as you try to get free you notice somebody next to you. It's Dirk. The hands are pulling he in too. You try to call at him. He turns his face towards you and you see half of his head has been blown off by a gun. You know it was by a gun. A rifle. Somehow you know it was a rifle.

“I'm going to look for him” the woman shoves you more and more inside the hands, until they start to cover your face, your mouth, your nose. The last thing you see before the darkness swallows you completely are a pair of pink, kind eyes, turning cold and orange.

 

You open your eyes and the images of the forest fade away, replaced by total darkness.

You freeze, you don't know where you are, oh God _where_ are you? Oh God you aren't wearing your glasses. You were in the forest some moments ago, Bro was strangling you and… Oh.

 _Right_.

The memories from the last two days come back to you and, slowly, you sit up and reach for your shades, they're next to your bed on a nightstand.

You're in SBURB, a human enclave, a different one than yours. You made it. You and Dirk actually made it here, they actually let you in and you have been staying two whole days here. There are no killing robots, Bro isn't here either...

_Everything's fine._

You notice you've got some unread messages in that chat, pesterchum, it's called pesterchum. Most of them are from people you don't recognize, but one is from the handle Dirk told you was his. You leave the others for later and open your brother's message.

 

\--- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering txGx [TG] at 6:10am ---

TT: Dave, where are you?

TxGx [TG] is now an idle chum!

TT: I suppose you must be asleep. Anyway, Roxana warned us that you can only get breakfast until 8am, so once you wake up make your way to the cafeteria, it should be marked on the map.

\--- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 6:15am---

 

You look at the clock on the upper right corner of your vision, it's already 8:21am.

Well, shit.

You suppose you're fine without breakfast, you aren't used to eating breakfast anyway. A little part of you is worrying that there will be a punishment for waking up late, but a bigger part of insists that the punishment is probably not eating by itself, otherwise Dirk wouldn't be so calm about you not showing up. You ponder whether or not to ask him, just to be sure, and at the end decide against it.

Well, if you aren't taking breakfast at least you should shower.

You manage to turn on the lights without tripping on anything and take some clothes and a towel from the closet, open the map on a corner of your field of view, and start to move towards the nearest bathroom. It isn't that far away from your room.

It feels weird to walk in SBURB’s hallways, they're covered on metal and you can't see where the light comes from, but since it isn't pitch black (even though it's still pretty damn dark) it's got to come from somewhere, even if you can't see any light bulb. From time to time there's a door, a camera or a vent that made their way to the walls, but at exception of that everything looks pretty much the same. The air isn't exactly stale, but compared to the constant winds you're used to it might as well be… It's just so different from the other place.

The old refuge’s installations were mostly connected by metal bridges, and even the stairs were usually placed outside the buildings rather than inside. And there were windows, so many fucking windows, you don’t know if it was to save construction material or what, but there were holes everywhere. It was impossible to pass one single day without seeing the sky at least once.

This place on the other hand feels isolated and claustrophobic, almost like a ship going through space, except there aren't even stars. You never gave too much thought to the fact this place is underground but, _God_ , only now it's starting to down on you that you won't see the sun in a while.

Shit.

You decide to distract yourself by checking your other pesterchum messages. There are 2 messages from people you don't recognize.

 

\---ectoBiologists [EB] began pestering txGx [TG] at 7:52am---

EB: Hey Dave!

TxGx [TG] is now an idle chum!

EB: It is John

EB: I don't think you remember me? But I work at the medical bay, my sister and I helped you and Dirk when you first arrived

EB: Anyway, I heard you're 16, we're the same age!

EB: There aren't that many teenagers here, if I leave out the little kids there would be only 8 young people

EB: So feel free to hang out whenever

EB: We are having a movie night in two days, if you want to join :)

\--- ectoBiologists [EB] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 8:10am---

 

John, huh? You try to remember the guy and come up with nothing. The idea of not remembering someone who remembers you is a little enerving, what if you encounter him later? Shit, now that you think about it you wouldn't recognize that girl who talked with you before, Rose, if you saw her. There's also Roxy, and the person with the gray text. Damnit.

And this guy's also offering to hang out with you, how are you supposed to say no to that? Although you aren't even sure you want to.

You have never “hanged out” with someone before, except you guess Dirk, and the fact you don't know the guy really doesn't help selling you on the idea, but also the thought of actually meeting people is kind of... Exciting, in its own way.

It's also _terrifying_ , what if they hate you? You're the new one here, they've got all the power, that's mostly why you didn't take Roxy's offer yesterday… But you guess it's not like that hot pink riffle woman is going to kick you out just because you aren't best friends with everyone, since she's your aunt and all.

Fuck, there's another thing you don't want to think about. It's also a thing you will have to tell Dirk at some point. Just. _Ugh_.

You let that aside and get back to checking your messages, yeah, keep yourself occupied Dave. Just, don't think about it and keep it cool.

 

\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] began pestering txGx [TG] at 5:10am ---

NS: Davey. Please try to arrive to the cafeteria before 8am.

txGx [TG] is now an idle chum!

NS: If you get late you're gonna miss breakfast!

NS: -Roxana.

\---neuroendocrineScape [NS] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 5:12am ---

\---neuroendocrineScape [NS] began pestering txGx [TG] at 5:15 ---

NS: By the way, you can change your handle if you wanna, but you need to keep the initials.

NS: If you don't know how to, just ask me. I'm free for helping you and your brother with anything, anytime. ÔwÔ

\---neuroendocrineScape [NS] ceased pestering txGx [TG] at 5:18am ---

 

Well, speaking of the devil.

Fuck, getting that message made you even more anxious about missing breakfast.

You also really should change that handle soon.

 

\--- txGx [TG] has changed to turntechGodhead [TG] ---

 

Better.

You reach the bathroom, enter one of the stalls and hang the clothes and the towel from a hook on the wall. Once you turn on the shower it greets you with a punch of cold water that hits like a brick and you quickly close the valve. _Jesus._

You aren't used to taking a cold bath. At all. You always thought it would be just like being outside in the rain but now you know just how wrong you were. Holy fuck. They really shower with this stuff?! _Everyday_?!

You're going to die.

You can get used to living underground, you can get used to never seeing the sun, you can get used to whatever they put on you, but this? This is madness. Dear lord, no, no, just no, holy crap. You aren't taking a shower with cold water. Just _no._

You dry yourself and put your clothes on, then leave the dirty ones in a basket placed on the corner of the room. Fuck it, you aren't going to shower with fucking _ice_.

You get out of the bathroom and… You don't know what to do next.

The pink woman told you and Dirk you wouldn't get any assignments until you got better, so there isn't anything for you to do. (Even though you're fine, Dirk's the one who won't be able to move his fucking arm for a couple of months.)

Going back to your room doesn't seem appealing, there's nothing there you can use as a distraction. You and Dirk didn't really bring anything except for your shades, so your turntables are still back at the old place, same for your sketchbook and your collection of dead shit.

Well, you still have a camera, there's one in your shades, even if you really would prefer to use an _actual_ camera.

You don't feel like taking pictures of the place though, it's all gray and boring. You used to take a lot of pictures of landscapes, back at the old place, since it was on the top of a mountain and all, but it's pretty obvious you won't find anything like that in an underground bunker.

At the end you decide to just wander around the place and after a while of aimless walking you find a room with several bookshelves, some tables, a couch, chairs, a billiard table and even what seems to be a TV. It's marked on the map as “recreation room”.

You enter and take a random book, because you aren't sure you're allowed to use the TV, and sit on one of the chairs next to a table. Almost no one is in here, only an old woman, reading something to a child on the opposite corner of where you are.

The book you picked is a detective novel, and even though it's extremely cool to find new entertainment (any kind, please, you haven't read a new book or seen a new movie since you're 12) you just aren't in the right mood for reading and end getting distracted.

You leave the book on the table and check the chat with the gray text. Might as well keep harassing the guy into answering you.

 

\---turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 10:45am ---

TG: hey

TG: hey

TG: hey

TG: hey

TG: dude

TG: i know youre reading this because it doesnt say youre idle

TG: how dare you ignore me i thought what we had was special

TG: was it just another night for you do you just go and pick random girls to chat with

TG: are you one of those

TG: im looking for love not a night stand

TG: now im eating ice cream on my bed while watching a movie

TG: you cant see me gray text dude but im crying my eyes out over here

TG: my faces covered in enough snot to put to shame a snail

TG: all buried into a nasty moist tissue

TG: was everything a lie was it all a game for you

TG: because if i take your absence as a clue

TG: leaving the bride alone in front of a scandalized crew

TG: even though i wore a dress imported from peru

TG: and went so far as to use my favorite shampoo

TG: because you said we would be together as if with glue

TG: just to then disappear out of the blue

TG: not even leaving a review

TG: only leaving me with an old shoe

TG: but gray man this aint no fairytale

TG: in which love always prevail

TG: without anyone breaking a fingernail

TG: and the bad guys always go to jail

TG: and old morgan catches the white whale

TG: no gray text man you didnt even give me your email

TG: even though i put my love on sale

TG: you just go and place the last coffin nail

 

“What are you doing?” You hear someone say right next to you, and almost jump out of your seat. Holy crap, how did you not notice someone coming near you? Were you really that distracted?

“Nothing.” You say, trying to look cool, yeah, play it down, flinching? No one's flinching here. No sir, not at all, of course not.

The guy who just scared you to death is a boy with black hair and blue eyes, and now that you look at this guy it kind of rings a bell. You've seen this guy with an overbite before…

“John?” You ask before you can stop yourself and God you really hope you're right, you don't want to confuse anyone's name, that would be humiliating. It seems like you're right though, because the guy smiles and nods.

“Wow, I didn't think you would remember me at all!” He says.

“Man, no, don't underestimate me, my memory is infallible.”

“Yeah, sure, I was just saying it because you got a concussion though.” He shrugs and leans closer, while you try really hard not to show the fact people getting into your space makes you a bit (a lot) uncomfortable. He taps the book's cover “You like detective stuff?”

“Sure.” You answer, not wanting to explain you just haven't seen any new entertainment since you were a child. John seems satisfied with your answer and moves towards a bookshelf.

“My sister loves that kind of novels. I'm not a fan myself, but I have learned which ones are good by proxy...” he tells you, while taking books from the shelf, before leaving them in front of you once the pile becomes too big for him to carry, and then goes back to the shelf. Shit.

“Ah, you don't have to, dude,” you stand up to stop him as he's taking another detective book “I appreciate the effort but it's fine, really, gotta learn how to find stuff myself anyway, right?”

“If you say so...” He puts the book back. Oh thanks God the book diluvium is over.

“I’m guessing the leader hasn't given you anything to do yet?” By the leader he means the pink woman, right? Yeah, that's who he must be talking about. You shake your head.

“Too cool for school, too cool for work.”

“Heh, sure. Hey, I've got like one free hour, how about we play a video game?” he offers, already walking towards the TV and setting a console.

“Uh, yeah, ok.” you say, trying not to look insecure, and go to stand next to him. When he finishes with what he’s doing he sits on the couch and, once you decide you're allowed to sit too, you sit next to him.

You have played video games before. Back at the old place Dirk made a couple because he's a damn computer genius, and there were also a couple real simple ones saved from the old world, but this is the first time you play an _actual_ game on an _actual_ console. It's pretty cool.

At first John does most of the talking, telling you about some stuff he likes, like movies, pranks, and magic tricks. He also tells you about how it's his turn picking for movie night, and that they're going to watch Con Air.

You don’t know that movie but, based on what he's said, it sounds dumb. You tell him just that, once you're relaxed enough, and for a horrible moment you expect he's going to hate you and tell the riffle lady to kick you out, but that doesn't happen. He insists you are wrong and you insist you’re right and boy this is the first time you try bickering with someone who isn't Dirk and it doesn't end with you being beaten up. You think you like it, interacting with people this way.

John is… Really easy to talk to. He's open about whatever he's thinking and gets excited when he talks about the stuff he likes. He can use sarcasm, but even when he uses it he doesn't come off as rude, not really, and even if he pokes fun at you for sucking so much at Mario Kart it doesn't hurt.

You were really worried about how were you supposed to just… Talk to people, but somehow you're doing it just fine, and before you notice it you've lost who knows how much time on this.

At some point a man enters the room, this time you immediately notice it as soon as he appears, and even though he seems inoffensive and he's smiling in a way that is as threatening as a marshmallow, he's making you feel way too self conscious. You think you might just be more sensitive to adults, who knew?

He stands there while you finish your match and finally comes closer once it's over. “John, Jane's waiting for you to help her with the inventory since almost one hour ago.” he says and only then John notices him, turning towards him and looking surprised.

“Oh, shit, what time is it?” He says, while disconnecting the console hurriedly. The man remarks “Language” when he curses and John distractedly apologizes.

“12:51pm” you answer. He thanks you while he runs out of the room, waving goodbye. You expect the man to also leave but instead he walks towards you and flashes you a smile.

“Hello.” He greets and you wave at him. Shit, maybe you should be more polite, is that too casual? You don't want to be disrespectful, but you also don't want to look like you're trying too hard, it’s always worse when it looks like you are trying too hard.

Fuck, you don't know how the rules operate here and maybe it worked with John but he's your same age and this is an adult, shit.

“Hi.” Yo add and hope it sounds casual enough.

“Dave, I didn't see you today at breakfast, did you overslept?” He asks and, _yeah_ , you fucked up.

You nod and mumble a sorry that probably won't be enough. The guy doesn't seem angry though. He just nods and smiles, maybe you aren't dead yet?

“Hmmm. Just as I thought. Dave, would you mind coming with me for a moment?”

Yeah, you're so fucking dead.

You stand up as fast as you can and follow him out of the recreation room, down the hallway. You fucked up. You really fucked up. You have only been two days here and you already fucked up enough that you’re about to know what kind of punishment they use. Good job Dave. Really well done. You and Dirk are supposed to convince them not to throw you to the dogs and here you just go and fuck up by sleeping too much. Fucking amazing.

You walk behind him without saying a word and hope with all your forces that's the right thing to do. Back at the old place what to do when you broke a rule depended on the person who caught you. Bro liked it when you put up a fight, while Ana usually went easy on you if you looked down and did everything she said, and then there was Tom, he sometimes would let you go if you just apologized enough. It varied.

Here, however, you have no way to know how to react. You don't know the guidelines, or the punishments for breaking them. You don't know which stuff will just end with you not getting food for a week and which will be deserving of becoming dog food. You just don't know.

So, you follow the man and wish that he will turn out to be an Ana type, that if you just follow him and do whatever he tells you you aren't going to die for real.

He leads you to the cafeteria and asks you to sit on one of the tables and wait while he goes to fetch something. Yeah, you’re going to die.

Back at the old place, most punishments didn't actually need tools to be carried out, they were usually restricted to getting thrashed, or maybe ending locked up somewhere.

There was only one exception, when someone fucked up so bad to _almost_ deserve getting feed to the dogs but not quite, you never got there, but Dirk got it twice. You remember hearing him scream and then the way his hands looked right after, the way the blood oozed from the fingertips, and you want to throw up.

Which is why you are so surprised when the man comes back and, instead of ripping off your nails, places a plate with food in front of you.

He must notice your confusion, because when you don't do or say anything he starts to explain. “I didn't see you this morning, so I decided to save you some food in case you showed up later, but you never appeared at all. Here we only serve two meals per day, so it's not a good idea to skip breakfast. You must be hungry, right?”

“Uh” You aren't sure what to say. Some moments ago you were ready for… Well, for anything they did to those who break rules. He doesn't add anything else and instead waits for you to finally take the clutery and start poking at the food.

The food is… Well, some of it looks like rice, except it's yellow, It's mixed with some gray mushrooms, similar to the ones in the soup they gave you yesterday, and you think you can see other chunks of vegetables thrown into the mix. At one side there's a piece of bread and something brown you can't quite recognize. You stab the brown thing with the fork and try a little piece.

It's hard, but not so much that you can't chew it, it's salty and rich, and you find yourself shoving more into your mouth in no time. “Holy shit, what is this?” You try to say while chewing and almost choke. It comes more as an ininteligible babbling than words but he seems to get the meaning.

“It's jerky. We also have a sweet kind, but the salty one is more popular. Usually we reserve the preserved food for the expeditions, but we made too much last month, so we have been serving it with the normal meals too”

Holy fuck, is it _meat ?!_

_Like actual, true meat?!_

_As in meat-meat, not the gross canned kind?!_

Holy fuck.

Wait. So that means they have animals in here? There's no fucking way they can keep a farm underground, actually, how do they even grow plants? You get the mushrooms since you suppose they are the kind that grows in the dark, but you're pretty sure rice needs sun, so _how the fuck?..._

You get so distracted with the realization they apparently have actual animals somewhere, that you almost fail to notice the dude's leaving. He comes back and in the meantime you manage to finish half of the plate (God, you didn't even know you were this hungry) and places on the table a cup of water and a bottle cap containing some pills, most of them red.

“Uh, thanks, but I think I will take the blue pill.”

“Vitamins.” He supplies. You nod and take one of them between your fingers, they’re squishy. You suppose they wouldn't feed you if they were thinking on poisoning you, and it might be fake but the man seems nice so far, so you decide to risk it and take them one by one. He waits until you drink a sip of water to pass them down before nodding and starting to leave.

As he's about to pass through the door, he stops, like he just remembered something, and turns back to look at you. “Oh. I just realized. I haven't introduce myself, have I?” You shake your head “My name’s José, But everyone calls me Mr. Egbert. Feel free to reach me on pesterchum, my handle is pipeFan... Dinner is served between 6pm and 8pm.”

He looks at you for a moment and once you realize he's probably expecting an answer you awkwardly flash him a thumbs up. He seems satisfied with that and leaves after giving you his own, more confident, thumbs up.

You are left alone with the rest of the food, and as you continue finishing your plate you think about what the _fuck_ just happened.

You disobeyed a warning, one you were given directly more than once from both your brother and this place’s goddamn _leader._ Not only that, but it was a fairly easy thing to do, just wake up on time and show up at a certain place. Then you also failed to report your failure, Mr. Egbert was fucking _waiting_ for you to show up after breakfast. You fucked up, you can't see it as anything other than fucking up, and instead of punishing you they _feed_ you? And not even with scraps but with actual, real, _nice_ food.

_What the hell?_

You pass the rest of the day walking around, seeing other people work, trying not to inconvenience them while doing so.

A surprising thing you notice is that there are a lot of little kids and old folk. Back with Bro only those with essential skills, or those who could hold themselves on a fight were allowed to stay. There were some kids, sure, but even them received training since they started to walk, and if they weren't able to hold a sword by age 10 they too were left outside for the machines to get. Instead, half of the people here isn't fit for any kind of confrontation, and there's no way they all are vital for the enclave's survival, but here they are.

Other thing you notice is that there aren't that many out of limit zones. You haven't seen everything there is of the place so you can't know for sure, and there _has_ to be places where people aren't usually allowed to enter, but so far most of the areas seem to be open to everybody.

The third thing you notice is that the refuge isn't as gray as you originally thought. Sure, the hallways are metallic and claustrophobic, but most of the actual rooms have carpets and even paintings on the walls.

Hell, the recreation room even had some garlands hanging from the ceiling, now that you think about it. There's still not enough light for your liking, but you have decided that if it wasn't because you have to wear your glasses you could acclimatize to it in one or two days.

And lastly, people… Talk to you. You knew every fucking one knew your name, but the number of people who just stop you on the hallway to ask you if your injuries are fine, or just to check on how you're doing is kind of overwhelming. “Hey, Dave. Are you feeling well?” Or “Hello! You must be Dave, welcome to SBURB!” They will say, like npcs in a rpg, even though you showed up from nowhere and they have no reason for liking you. It's really weird. But… It isn't bad.

Throughout the day you also try a couple of times more to get an answer from the gray text dude, but, mostly you just talk with John and Rose, and both of them insist you need to meet their friend Jade. You meet with her later on the cafeteria while dinner is getting served, since they insist you should sit with them.

(You also made sure to put an alarm for both breakfast and dinner, after today you won't miss any meal even if it kills you)

Jade is… Nice. She's a bit like John (Which makes sense since they told you they're cousins) but she's more… Hmmm, how to say it?

Well, for starters, she's very polite, but not in a stiff kind of way. You have only spoke with her once and she's already said she thinks you're pretty cool, although you aren't sure if she's saying it just because, and she goes along with your bullshit more easily than her cousin.

She's also really kind, not that John isn't, but you get the feeling that while John playfully made fun of you for sucking so much at games Jade's more the kind of person who would offer to teach you how to play better. Sure, _maybe_ she would still make fun of you, but she would do it while teaching you.

You also got to actually meet Rose. She's just like you imagined while talking over chat. She comes off as the kind of person who plans the whole conversation before even starting to speak, always in control, and you can't get used to the constant feeling she's examining everything you do. You wonder if this is how talking to Dirk feels for people who doesn't know what a fucking mess of a person he can be sometimes.

Speaking of Dirk, you see him again at dinner time, sitting next to a girl who looks like a younger version of the pink lady, except she has white hair (Which doesn't make you think of that dream at all, no sir, dream? What dream? What are you talking about?).

They seem to be talking, and you notice Dirk isn't wearing his glasses, letting them tucked in his collar instead.

Will he stop wearing them entirely? Sure, you both started wearing them because your eyes are light sensitive, but if you are honest with yourself, the principal reason you keep them on is to hide your face, since it makes it easier to talk to people.

This place has the right amount of light to be able to go on your daily basis without them though, so maybe Dirk will actually stop wearing them? That would be weird.

He notices you're looking at him and waved at you. You give him a thumbs up and turn your concentration back to your food.

Today's dinner is a kind of yellow rice porridge with bits of what you _think_ is corn. Mr. Egbert also gave you a white pudding that tastes like strawberries with pineapple. You notice only the little kids got a dessert too, no one on your table has one, not even John who is his son (Did he give one to Dirk too?). You also got more red pills, everyone got red pills.

After you finish your food you decide you really should tell Dirk what happened yesterday already, so you send him a message without anyone noticing, thanks God for mental interfaces.

 

\--- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 8:03pm ---

TG: hey can we talk

TG: alone

 

You see him takings his shades and putting them on once he receives your message. He doesn't answer you, but he waves goodbye to the not-so-pink girl, before getting out of the room, and you follow him after exchanging goodbyes with the others.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Dirk asks you while you're walking on the hallway, once you are far enough from the cafeteria.

“Yeah… Ok, so, yesterday I talked with the pink riffle lady, shit, I mean, Roxana, yesterday I talked with Roxana.”

“Mhm.”

“And now that I think about it I guess she's kind of this place's president? Like obviously I'm not just telling you this just because I talked with our version of Obama, even though can you imagine talking with Obama? Actually, is Obama still alive, is he hiding somewhere in a refuge and everyone there's just like, yep, that sure is Obama, or maybe even-”

“Obama died when the machines took over” He interrupts you “There was a Wikipedia article saved in the old place's database about it.”

“Well, damn. But how're you so sure he's truly dead? It could be a master plan for him to scape, like, the way there are conspiracy theories about Hitler flying to Argentina? Or, how absolutely no one dies in One Piece ever and-”

“Dave... What did you and Roxana talk about?” Dirk asks, raising an eyebrow, and man, it's so fucking weird seeing his eyes, is he really ok with not wearing the shades?

“Ok. So…” You begin, only hesitating a little while pulling from the collar of your shirt ”Bottom line is, she kind of, uh, knew who we are, I mean, obviously she knows who we are but, I mean, she knew our lastname and, uh… She kinda told me she's Bro's sister?”

“Yeah, I already knew that.”

“You… what?” You have to stop walking for a moment to just look at him because, what the hell? _What the hell?!_ How did he know that?? You had no idea until yesterday, did he somehow figure it out by himself once you came here? How in the name of-

“She told me earlier today. She also said you saved her from killing herself.”

Oh

“Oh… I… Guess? I found her about to go outside and I was like, ‘lady, are you sure you're gonna come back if you go out alone?’ And she told me she was going to look for Bro, she, uh… She thought he came with us, and I mean, he did, but she thought he came _with_ us, so I sort of… Told her we were actually running away from him and... I didn't tell her _everything_ that happened, just sort of what kind of person he was, and then she turned around? I… Probably should've started with telling you that, sorry…”

“It's fine, your explanation lines up with hers. How did you know she was planning to go outside though?”

“Uh…” For some reason you don't want to tell him about the gray text… You probably should, but, Dirk's already paranoid about everything and the story is pretty complicated already, you don't want to add more to it, especially since the dude hasn't responded since that night. “I had a hunch.”

 

TG: so all im saying is

TG: if teleporters are suicide bombs are there several spocks and kirks in hell

TG: like can you imagine hopping on the platform in the way to fuck an alien for a diplomatic mission and then youre in hell

TG: and then the other guy shows up 50 mins later and youre like ok me tell me how it went what do these glargar things have under their pants

TG: dont skip any detail i didnt die for a vague image use your fucking cyber sex skills man

TG: paint me a picture of it follow your dicks heart or whatever

GG: wait, why are spock and kirk in hell?

GG: i thought the federation were the good guys!

TG: no see thats what the empire wants you to think

TG: wake up jade theyre fascists

GG: sure

GG: dave, did you really watch star trek?

GG: or even star wars?

TG: ok you got me i just read the wikipedia page

TG: im supposing you have the actual movies here then

TG: hmmmmm?

GG: lol

GG: no, not really :p

GG: my grandfather told me what it was about though!

TG: i cant believe you would lie to me like this harley

TG: theres nothing left for me im gonna jump into the teleporter

TG: goodbye world

GG: oh nooooooooo!!! D:

TG: hi im teleported dave look what you did now dave 1 is dead you happy now

GG: heehee

GG: we do have an actual teleporter, though! :)

TG: wait what

TG: for real

GG: my grandparents made a prototype! :D

TG: holy shit

GG: but it's currently broken :/

TG: well there goes my plans for making a dave army in the afterlife and conquering both heaven and hell

TG: let me tell you we wouldve improved that place so much

TG: replacing all newspaper with porn magazines

TG: making puppets illegal

TG: all the good stuff

GG: of course

GG: i have to go to sleep now, but keep telling me tomorrow about your heaven renovation plans 8)

\--- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:31pm ---

TG: bye

 

You're currently on your bed, the lights of your room are off, and you can't sleep. You had been spending the time chatting with Jade, the only person you know who’s still online, and now that she went to sleep you don't have anyone to entertain you.

You decide to open the gray text chat, the guy hasn't answered yet, and sending him messages is starting to become less of an actual attempt to get an answer and more of a blackboard for your bullshit.

 

\--- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 9:40 ---

TG: so hear me out gray text dude

TG: or girl

TG: now that i think about it are you a girl or a boy

TG: ive been calling you gray text man but who knows maybe youre a gray text lady

TG: ive no way of knowing since you wouldnt even tell me your name

TG: i thought we were besties how could you not even tell me if you got a y or a x

TG: anyway gray text individual of unknown characteristics

TG: hear me out

TG: humans have bones right

TG: i mean of course we do otherwise we would be a mushy past of meat

TG: a soft meat pudding squirming around

TG: crawling on the walls and under the doors like some fucking gross squishy slug and shit

TG: or would we

TG: i mean who knows robots dont have bones and theyre pretty damn sturdy

TG: or are they

TG: but i know ive at least a couple of bones scientific method shows ive got a minimum of 18

TG: and by scientific method i mean ive broke some and you gotta own something before breaking it

TG: unless youre damaging someone elses stuff which is like super illegal do you wanna end in jail my man

TG: youve got one phonecall use it carefully

TG: i recommend calling a sex phone line the number is 696969

TG: wait do we even have a jail here

TG: i feel like every place needs at least one jail

TG: were are you gonna put people who broke the rules otherwise

TG: you gotta put them somewhere or are you just gonna kill off anyone who commits a wrong or something

TG: hahaha

TG: ha

TG: ha

TG:

TG: anyway

TG: so if humans have bones

TG: and birds have bones

TG: and ive seen birds bones before dude dont even try to deny theyve got structure

TG: your case holds no water why would you try lying like this

TG: it holds so little water everyone around heres dying out of thirsts

TG: get it

TG: thirsty

TG: but yeah dude at least make decent bullshit my man

TG: arguments like this is why you lost the case and are now in jail

TG: why didnt you even get a lawyer what kind of idiot tries to defend himself

TG: everyone knows you gotta ask for a lawyer

TG: havent you seen movies and shit

TG: ok so anyway can you see where im getting at right

TG: its actually really obvious i cant believe i didnt see it before

TG: if humans got bones

TG: and birds got bones

TG: are humans dinosaurs

CG: FOR FUCK’S SAKE. THE WORDS. THEY KEEP COMING BACK. ALL DAY AND NIGHT YOU SHITHEAD KEEP THROWING THEM AT ME LIKE SOME KIND OF BABY WHO KEEPS CONSTANTLY SHITTING HIMSELF AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN FUCKING DIAPER!!!

CG: IF I FUCKING ANSWER YOU, IF I CRAWL TO YOUR LEVEL AND ANSWER YOUR NONSENSICAL GARBAGE TALK, WILL YOU FINALLY, *FINALLY* SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH TRAP AND LET ME ALONE?!

TG: awwww yisss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.... Hate.... Formatting... Pesterlogs....  
> As always please remember to comment!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate all your comments, no matter how short!!!!! PLEASE!!!!


	3. Myocarditis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Myocarditis, also known as inflammatory cardiomyopathy, is inflammation of the heart muscle. Symptoms can include shortness of breath, chest pain, decreased ability to exercise, and an irregular heartbeat. The duration of problems can vary from hours to months._
> 
> **-Wikipedia**

“You should meet Jane and Jake, I think you would really like them!” Roxy says out of the blue while she stands up and comes to read over your shoulder.

You're helping with a bit of code she asked you to look over. Only having one hand available makes it way harder, although it’s not like there's too much to do left, you have to admit she's probably way better at this than you. But, you always liked working on hardware more than software anyway, so that's fine.

“Jane is the girl who helped to take care of our wounds, isn't she?”

“Yeah, she works with the medical team, did you talk to her?”

“Not really…”

You haven't actually talked with people here except for Roxy and maybe her mother. And Dave,  _ obviously _ , but he isn't from this place either so you aren't sure if that counts.

“She's John's sister, you at least know who John is, don't you? He’s friends with your lil bro.” 

“I haven't talked with him, or, any of his friends. But Dave talks about them all a lot.”

“Hmmmm.”

“Jake… He’s Jade's brother, right?”

“Yeah, Did Davey talk about him?”

“A bit… He said he speaks like, and I'm quoting here, 'an absolute moron whose every sentence is a stab in the English language's face, but in the good sense’”

Roxy snorts at that and punches you on the shoulder, but doesn't deny Dave's claim.

“So, how's the code looking?” She asks instead, gesturing towards the computer, even though she can perfectly see how it's going.

“Everything seems fine, but if you want an actual expert to check it out, why don't you ask your mother?”

“Hmm, I don't know man, anytime she checks over stuff I make I feel like I'm gonna disappoint her, you know?... I mean, don't get me wrong,” Roxy stops what she’s saying, shifting her posture to rest her chin on her hands, and then continues “...It's not like she does that on purpose, she's actually super really nice about whatever I make, like hanging on the wall my drawings when I was little and all, she would look over it and be like ‘you did an amazing job sweetie, you made some mistakes but it's no biggie, I'm proud of you’ but she's, like, way better than me at everything, you know? It’s embarrassing.”

“Hmmm.”

You will never not be surprised by how open Roxy can be. You are still a stranger here, so you don't think her trust has that much to do with who you are, rather, it’s just that she’s quick to share stuff. 

It feels nice to have someone trusting you enough to tell you how they feel, but it also makes you uncomfortable because, at least with Roxy, you don't think you have earned it yet.

“Are you gonna go to movie night today?”

“It's not movie night if it goes from 2pm to 6pm”

“It sounds better than movie afternoon,” she shrugs “Davey picked today's first movie, you know?”

“Oh man, what did he chose?”

“Well, he tried to get us to watch the emoji movie but luckily we persuaded him into picking a Disney thing, Frozen.”

“Oh, I've heard about that one, or at least the song, I think. The let it go thing. Back at the place we came from... Some dude passed it down to future generations without telling them the plot of the movie it's featured in.”

“Well, why don't you take this opportunity to see the actual thing?! Don't you wanna discover the  actual origin of your place’s ancient lullaby?!” Roxy exclaims, and you have to look somewhere else. God, why did you decide to stop wearing your shades again? Something to do with the lights? Not being able to see 5cm in front of you can't be worse than letting people see your face. 

“I think I will pass, but thanks.”

“Oh, come on Dirk!” She pouts “If you join us today we will let you pick the next one! I know you want to, we've got a-ni-me” Roxy says, leaning closer and poking you on the cheek to punctuate the syllables on the last word.

You sigh. It’s not that you think you would dislike assisting as much as just… Feeling like you're sort of bursting in. Or not wanting to be surrounded by extrangers. You only know Roxy and Dave out of all the assistants and, yeah, the whole idea of you going today is that you can meet people, but you've always preferred getting to first know people one to one.

“Maybe another day” 

Roxy sighs, obviously disappointed, but doesn't press the matter any further. 

 

You spend the rest of the morning tailing along with Roxy, watching her do her job and helping whenever you can. It's nice having something to occupy yourself with, but eventually she leaves for the ‘movie night’ and you have to walk apart. You exchange goodbyes one hallway before the recreation room and then retreat to your own room, deciding to wait there until dinner starts to be served. After that you will probably hang out with Roxy a bit more and then go to sleep… 

_ Are you being too clingy?... _

Probably. 

You don't want to make her feel like she has to babysit you, but you don't have anyone else to spend time with. Well, there's Dave; Before, you used to hang out a lot, but he's doing a good job at making friends and you don't want to distract him from that, and it's not like you two didn't spend a preponderous amount of time talking over pesterchum already.

You used to be good at entertaining yourself, why are you suddenly so keen on human interaction? Maybe it's because you just couldn't get company before, but it doesn't feel right to lose that skill as soon as it isn’t required for survival. 

What did you even use to do before, when you had to spend most days completely by yourself? It's been a week for fuck’s sake! You shouldn't feel like a different person just because you're in another environment.

You turn the lights off, lay on your bed with your shades on, and start to listen the few music you've got in them. Most of it is from the old world, but after some time of listening to your playlists on random a couple of tracks Dave made starts to appear, some of them you helped with. 

As if summoned by the music, you get a notification that Dave's trying to reach you on pesterchum. You check the hour, it's still not that late, he must be in the middle of the first movie. 

A bit of anxiety shots through your veins, but you push it aside, there's no use on worrying without even knowing what he's pestering you about. As far as you know something funny happened in the movie and he wants to share with you.  _ Stop jumping to worst cases scenarios _

 

\--- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:14pm ---

TG: roses gay did you know that

timaeusTestified is now an idle chum!

TG: dirk fucking answer me im freaking out roses a fucking lesbian

TT: Hey. I’m here.

TG: oh thanks fucking god

TT: I wasn’t aware of that, but I fail to see why your friend’s sexuality is making you, as you put it, “freak out”. As far as I know you don't harbor any kind of crush on her, or at least I sure fucking hope you don't since she’s our damn cousin. So, why does it bother you?

TG: what the hell do you mean why does it bother me 

TG: dirk shes fucking gay

TT:.....

TT: Dave, I'm attracted to men. You know this.

TG: yeah and if anyone else had known it would have got you killed

TG: and then she comes and apparently every fucking one knows already and dont give a shit

TG: i didnt even hear it from her thats how common knowledge it is

TG: roxys talking to her all like 

TG: hey sis have you seen that new guy i know you only like girls but even you gotta admit hes hot 

TG: like its no big deal as if she was talking about the weather or something

TG: she was talking about you by the way

TG: not me

TG: not that im not smoking hot 

TG: i activate the damn fire detectors as i walk

TG: cant take two steps without getting greeted by the fire alarm 

TG: its permanently raining over here

TG: and i havent got an umbrella its my personal karma

TT: So, what I'm gathering is that your discomfort streams from the fact Rose is allowed to openly share her preferences without fear of persecution, while back at the mountain's place mine would have been cause of me being executed? 

TG: god i dont know why you always need to say everything like that

TG: but ok yes thats a way to put it

TT: Dave, this is a different place. Cultural clash is to be expected. If everything was the same as before we wouldn't have ran away on the first place.

TG: why the fuck are you so calm about this shit

TG: dont you remember the little girls who played girlfriends ONCE

TG: it wasnt even an actual date they were fucking roleplaying 

TG: as far as anyone knows they werent even actual gay

TT: I get why you feel like this particular difference is somehow more important than the ones you had previously noticed, but I don't think it's as big of a deal as you're making it seem. 

TT: I suppose you expected SBURB to be fairly similar to Bro's place, at least culturally, since both of them are in what was previously the same country and have built themselves up from the same base of western civilization. However, they have been growing independently for approximately thirty years with not only different populations, but also almost opposite resources and strategies for survival.

TT: So I don't really find it unbelievable that the commonly accepted behavior divergues. I imagine moving here as the equivalent of what moving to another continent would have been like in the old world, maybe even comparable to moving to another fucking planet, since there's no communication whatsoever established between both places.

TG: dirk they fucking hanged their bodies from a bridge

TG: if bro had known youre actually real gay he wouldnt have given you to the robots

TG: he would have fucking ripped you to pieces with his bare hands!

TG: and then roses going around wearing a rainbow shirt and singing she keeps me warm and everybodys like

TG: yep that sure is a lesbian no problem with that ha ha ha

TG: so cultural difference my ass

TG: im going to have a damn meltdown about it if i want to 

TG: dont even fucking try to stop me

TT: 

TG: she doesnt actually have a rainbow shirt by the way

TG: i think

TG: who knows she might have

TT: Dave, don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm indifferent towards the notice. To be honest, it's actually a fucking huge relief to be informed I don't need to worry about being murdered because of my sexual and romantic orientation anymore, but don't you think you're exaggerating?

TT: I'm not making such a big deal out of it and I'm the one who, to quote you, is “actually real gay”. Using an expression such as “having a meltdown” makes you look like a drama queen.

TT: Not that I fail to realize that you are, deep down, a drama queen. Even if you try too hard to look cool in front of most people.

TG: goddamnit dirk

\--- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] ---

 

Well. So you know that now.

Hm.

You told Dave it wasn’t such a big deal, wich from a logical standpoint, it really isn’t, at least not compared to how this place contrasts with the mountain in more major shit, such as being underground, which allows them to just avoid the robots instead of having the need to dispose of any dog that gets too close, or how that lack of need for physical force in turn allows old people and in general those who aren’t fit for combat to, well, live. 

But somehow you can’t avoid thinking that learning it’s accepted to be, as Dave so blatantly put it, ‘gay’ still should be a reason for you to be surprised, or, at least to feel _ something. _ At all. 

It’s not that you don’t care, it would be impossible for you not to care, after all, this affects you directly, it basically means you could pursuit a relationship if you wanted to do so, something you couldn’t even dream of before. You had already surrendered yourself to never dating anyone, or even to get eventually shoehorned into making a family with a girl. 

Not that you could ever imagine actually having sex with said metaphorical girl, or to be stuck in a miserable relationship until you got too old and they decided to get rid of you, but, even if you never internalized the idea, you had accepted that fact at an intellectual level since a long time ago. 

It was everyone’s obligation to keep the population stable after all, as if you were some sort of farm animals that need to keep breeding to make up for all the murder, or at least that's how it felt for you. And even if you tried to present yourself as some sort of lonely warrior who doesn’t like romance in order to avoid it, even before you decided to left you had already started to feel the pressure to get with someone. 

You had just… Assumed it would be kind of the same here, even with all your speech about both places diverging culturally and stuff. If you’re completely honest, you assumed a lot of things would be the same until proved otherwise, just as Dave apparently did.

And now you can just… Date someone you actually like, if you want to. The more you think about it the more you start to agree with Dave that it’s actually a big deal. But... You feel the same.

Maybe you're getting desensitized to all the changes. Yeah, can chalk it up to that. And besides, it's not like you have that many options for dating someone, there are around other 7 people that round your same age in this whole place, and you're related to 3 of them, so it's not like you're suddenly going to start to have an active romantic life.

You try to go back to getting lost into your music, only to find out that you can't anymore. Ok, so maybe you're feeling  _ something _ after all. 

You leave your room and begin to wander, you aren't sure if you're going anywhere, mostly you just feel like moving.

You end walking to the control room, and as you peer inside Roxana waves at you. You wave back and are about to leave when she stands up and goes to talk to you.

“Hey Dirk, you ok?” She asks and you awkwardly nod. 

This is not the first time you talk with her, but you don't know her that well yet, and once again the fact you aren't wearing your shades is fucking up your social skills a bit. Maybe you really should just follow Dave's example and put them on, even with how dark this place is.

“I thought you kids had movie night today?”

“...Yeah, but, I'm not going to those.”

“Oh, why's that?” She says in a way that probably is meant to sound concerned, but with the blank mask she wears as an expression you can't be sure.

At least her neutral face is closer to “warm” than “cold”, not like Bro's, that was just complete, icy, freezing stoicism. She at least has this weak, perpetual detritus of a smile on hers.

“It's just… Not my thing, I guess.”

“Oh, so it's not that you are hanging out with Jake? He didn't assist today either, so I thought maybe you were on your way to meet him.”

“Oh, no, I don't… Really know him yet.”

“Hmmmm…” Roxana hums, looking you at the eyes in a way that makes you feel oddly naked, like she can see something you don't even know was on your face.

“So, since it's a good opportunity, why don't we go and introduce you two? You prefer getting to know people one to one, right?” She says and you frown. How did she know that? You aren't that transparent are you?

“How did you know?” You ask. Her smile turns a little more noticeable, but it still isn't enough to reach her eyes and break that stern face she almost always wears.

“Just a supposition. I always see you avoiding big groups, but it isn't that you mind meeting new people, after all I've seen you talking to adults just fine. Guess I was right?” Shit. “Well, let's go then!” She exclaims cheerfully, while already starting to walk to who knows where.

“You don't have to…” You try but she just shakes her head. 

You suppose there's not point on arguing with this woman and begin to follow her.

Roxana leads you through more indistinguishable gray hallways until she finally stops in front of an indistinguishable gray door. 

“This. Here.

“I… See?” You say, waiting to see what she's going to do. So, is she going to open the door or…?

She pushes you a little on the shoulder and gives you a thumbs up. Then, without saying anything, she opens the door, shoves you inside, and closes it behind you, too fast for you to react.

So that just happened. 

You look around the room, it's a space filled with exercising equipment, a little corner of floor covered with mats, and what seems like a homemade shooting range, given the presence of several mutilated wooden targets with humanoid shapes.

Your eyes are drawn to the only person in the room right now, a guy around your age, punching a bag. He seems to notice you after a couple of punches and walks towards you with a smile on his face.

Now that you see him up close he's… Kinda handsome. He's got these dark eyes that only when he walks closer you notice are actually green, his overbite makes him look only a little bit stupid, but mostly you're just looking at his muscles, shirtless and sweaty as he is right now. He's a bit more bulky than you, with muscular arms with a little scar near the shoulder and-

And now that you think about it you aren't wearing your glasses and people can see what you're looking at. Fuck. You quickly look away and pray he didn't notice the way you were just checking him out.

You're really considering just going blind like Dave does.

“Howdy! You're one of our new comrades, Dirk, was it?” He extends you a hand, only then to realize your arm is on a cast and quickly pulling it back.

“Yes. You must be Jake?” You answer, as you extend your healthy arm instead. He shakes it and it's only a bit awkward. 

Would it make it better or worse if you put on your shades right now, mid conversation?

“I Most certainly am!” He smiles and gives you a pair of thumbs up “I was dying to meet you!” 

“I guess. Everyone seems to want to know about the boys from somewhere else.” It isn't an everyday thing for new people to show up, not here, not back at the mountain, probably not anywhere, so you have had your fair amount of people wanting to talk to you, but you still aren't sure how to answer to being kind of a minor celebrity. It's cumbersome.

Jake however, raises an eyebrow and sends you a weird look. “I actually hadn't thought of that. Roxy's been parroting about you nonstop, and I met your brother and he's a good fella, that's all.” 

“Oh, ok.” You evade his eyes. Damn, if being rude was a sport you would be world champion, wouldn't you?

Apparently Jake doesn't notice the moment of awkwardness, or doesn't care, and just starts babbling about this and that, and asking a pile of questions that fall between personal and innocuous and actually kind of offensive. But he doesn't mind if you evade answering, and tries- if falling- to be polite. He's ok, you suppose, even if he can talk weirdly now and then.

You end doing some leg exercises and other stuff you can do without an arm while he goes back to boxing, in part because you don't want to admit you came to this place's gym because Roxana pushed you inside, and in part because you were going stir crazy without physical activity for so long, advice about resting be damned, you've had worse. All the while Jake keeps talking, and eventually the conversation stops being one sided without you realizing. He's pretty… Bright, in a way, you suppose, makes him hard to ignore.

After about an hour, maybe a little less, you follows as he stands up and walks towards a locker against one of the doors, producing a pair towels from it. He tosses one at you. You use it to clean around your neck and face while he dries his torso and arms and you look at somewhere else. 

When he starts walking towards the door there's a moment in which you stand still like a moron, but then he makes a movement with the head gesturing for you to follow and soon you're walking together through the hallways, talking about how you definitely have to spar as soon as your arm heals. 

It's embarrassing to  admit it, but you get distracted, and the hallways are look the same, and you aren't wearing your shades, so when he opens a door and you're faced with other six people sitting in front of a TV you're taken by surprise. 

“Oh, Jake… And Dirk!” Roxy exclaims, being the first one to notice you. Next to her Dave turns towards you and you can see he's raising an eyebrow behind his shades. “You decided to come after all!” 

Jake calmly walks forward and sits between Dave and a girl with short, black hair, as more people start to look at your direction, inspecting the new arrival. You wave weakly at them. 

Dave and Roxy scoot apart a little and gesture for you so sit between them. You bite the inside of your cheek and walk inside the room. You guess you're doing this now. 

A boy you think is John picks up the remote and continues the movie they had paused when Jake opened the door. In the screen you see a cartoon girl you recognize, you have seen her in different merchandise with other girls, this is the blond one that wears a blue dress, although she's wearing different clothes right now.

“We were introducing Dave to the Disney princesses.” Roxy whispers as she leans against your shoulder. “This one's Cinderella, the one with the shoe.” 

“Mhm.”

The sensation of eyes on you put the hair at the back of your neck on edge. Dave and Roxy being here helps, but you can't shake the feeling of being trapped. It's stupid, you know they're good people, have heard nothing but good things about them from your brother, but there's something about being rounder by people you aren't comfortable with that just triggers your spider sense, like a fucking idiot bunny in the middle of the jungle. 

You scratch the back of your ear and use the motion to put your shades on in a way that almost look natural. At the corner of your vision there's that one warning from the firewall again. Roxana said that was just a thing that happens because the network feeds data from and for the devices connected to it, and sometimes it's just labeled as a virus, so you aren't worried about it. It  _ is _ bothersome though.

“Dirk, check this out.” Something pokes your cheek and you turn to see Dave, holding some red can in one hand and the tiniest spoon you've ever seen in the other. “You're entitled to one spoonful of cocoa per movie night, like, actual chocolate, cool right?” 

He indicated you to open your good hand, scopes some brown powder with the spoon and leaves it on your palm, right at the center. Now that you look around you notice that Roxy's fingertips are traveling between her tongue and one of her palms, and that Jake's now keeping one hand close to his face. 

You bring your hand to your mouth and eat the entirety of the little heap of cocoa at once. It's bitter and pretty strong, not at all like how you imagines chocolate would taste, and you have to make an effort not to cough. Besides you, you can hear Roxy laugh. 

 

You find Roxana again later that day, as you're walking towards your room. “It seems like you had fun.” She says, pointing at your case where five new signatures have joined Dave and Roxy's. 

“It was fine.” You shrug. It was kind of enerving getting swarmed by so many people, but at the end it turned alright. By the end of the moving you were actually talking with more than one person, and then at dinner you separated into two groups, with Dave, Rose, Jade and John at one table and you, Roxy, Jane and Jake at another. It was ok.

“I'm glad.” Roxana looks at the signatures, then at your face. She takes out a pink sharpie from one of her pockets and asks. “May I?” 

“Um, sure.” You answer and hold the broken arm up a little so she can sign. Then she takes off the marker's lid, and with the same serious face as ever draws something on your face.

“See you, Dirk!” She exclaims, and for the first time the corners of her mouth go up just enough for it to look like an actual smile. Then she takes off, leaving you unsure of what the fuck did just happen. When you look later on a mirror you see she drew cat whiskers.

  
  
  


You wake up at midnight by the buzz of your glasses. Someone's trying to reach you over pesterchum. Reluctantly, you put them on.

\--- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:42pm ---

TG: hey dirk

timaeusTestified [TT] is now an idle chum!

TG: hey

TG: wake up

TG: dirk wake up

TG: diiiiirk

TG: waaaaakeeee

TG: uuuuuuuuup

TT: I'm awake. What's the matter?

TG: i just realized something

TG: i was here lying on my bed and shit and i got this huge revelation

TG: ok so were underground right

TT: I believe we are, but human senses are limited and easily deceived. So, as far as I know we could be in the matrix without realizing it. After all, Mr. Egbert has been feeding us red pills non stop in what I can only assume is an extremely elaborate attempt to wake us up.

TT: Yes Dave, we're underground.

TG: haha

TG: sure real funny

TG: ok so if were underground isnt time like totally meaningless 

TG: as in we dont depend on the sun to be able to fucking see like we did on the mountain

TG: not even the little farm uses actual sun right 

TG: its all artificial like a tanning cabin

TG: weve given the middle finger to the sun and committed ourselves to our new vocation as mole people

TG: the suns outside crying because no one likes him anymore

TG: what happened he used to be the heart of the party why no one invites him to stuff now

TG: not even jessica gave him an invitation to her fucking wedding 

TG: thats how much everyones evading him now

TG: or wait maybe we use solar energy 

TG: i actually dont know where the electricity comes from

TT: SBURB uses geothermal generators. So, no, this place doesn't need sunlight, at least not in the short to medium term. If the world entered an age of eternal darkness we probably wouldn't notice for a while.

TG: ok so weve established we dont care about the big ol lightbulb

TG: but then 

TG: why do we still have to wake up at 6am

TT: ....

TT: Shit

TG: RIGHT?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to comment!!! It means a lot!!!!!!! Hope you like this story so far!!!!! Have a happy valentine's day!!! Even tho it isn't celebrated in my country!!!


	4. D3F W4K3_UP( Spid8r , X = 413 ) :

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye._
> 
> **-Mary Shelley**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Bonus update!!!!!**   
> 
> 
> I thought for a long while if I should post this one chapter in the normal shedule (14th of each month) or as a "bonus" chapter set between "normal" sheduled chapters. At the end I decided it just felt too divorced from the previous 3 chapters for it to be set in a normal date. It just gave me that vibe, u know?  
> 
> 
> I will keep posting chapters that I feel are just too short or too separated from the main story as "bonus", i.e, between the normal chapters posted 14th of each month, and they won't be featured in the "coming next" part either, so they're, like, a surprise! But don't expect it to happen often, the next 4 or so chapters I got planned are _all_ normal ones!

Slowly, you wake up. Your senses turning on one by one, your memory and personality coming together to make a person once again.

Hmmmmm… What happened?

Oh, yes, you were going after some humans, not any humans, the mountain criminals. 

Oh, but then one of the leaders fought you, at first you thought he was protecting his camarades, but then he accused you of stealing his prey!

Well, this case just became more complex, didn't it? 

But that's alright, easy tasks aren't enjoyable anyway!

As a protector of justice it's your sacred duty to get to the bottom of this. You aren't going to rest until the suspects receive a fair judgement, and those found as culprits find their painful end at your hands!

_ This is your hobby, after all. _

According to your internal timer it has been a bit more than a week. You got a clear shot to the leader before he took you out, and it seems like that one tracker is still working. Could it be he hasn't realized about the GPS?

Ridiculous. However, even if he got it out somewhere, it's still one of the best clues you've got so far.

Alright, let's go!

You reach around for your cane (where is it? Where is it? Whe- Found it!) And stand up. Hmmm… Ok, there's a problem.

You try to walk and find out one of your legs seems to be malfunctioning. It's not enough to stop you from moving, but it surely will slow you down.

Hmmm, you don't have time to go and look for a replacement. You will have to hope to find another leg on your way there. In your current state reaching the GPS should take you between two and three weeks. Then again, he probably is already a good distance away from it, so then four or five to get them… But also, if you find another leg on the way it might shorten the time to a half. 

Alright, decition time. Let's just establish a goal instead of worrying for how much it will take.

Ok, goal decided! You're gonna find the runaways in four weeks, no less and no more, no matter what happens on the way!!!

But before starting, you suppose you should tell Vriska the reason you were gone for a while. Hm. She hasn't send you any messages during the time you were out. Well, you suppose that’s normal coming from her, but still, you didn't exist for a week! Geshhhh.

 

\--- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began contacting arachnidsGrip [AG] at 4:13am ---

GC: H3Y

AG: oh, hey terezi

AG: where have you 8een?

GC: POW3R3D OFF FOR 4 W33K

AG: what?!

AG: re8lly????????

GC: 4 RUN4W4Y V1LL41N TURN3D OUT TO B3 4 B1T STRONG3R TH4N 1N14LLY THOUGHT >:-[

GC: 1’M OK NOW THOUGH

AG: i suppose you're going on one of your justice hunts then........

AG: who's it this time?

GC: TH3 HUM4NS FROM TH3 MOUNT41N 

AG: oh

AG:

AG: weren't those guys the ones who 8roke nepeta????????

GC: 4ND F3F3R1

AG: FEFERI IS D8AD????????!!!!!!!!

GC: Y3S

AG: sinc8 when????????!!!!!!!!

GC: 4ROUND TWO MONTHS 4GO

AG: why n8 8ne told me????????

GC: TH4T'S WH4T H4PP3NS WH3N YOU FUCK OFF TO TH3 M1DDL3 OF NOWH3R3 4ND DON'T SP34K W1TH 4NYON3 UNL3SS TH3Y CONT4CT YOU F1RST

AG: 8nd you're g8ing to hunt down th8se guys alon8????????!!!!!!!!

GC: NOT 4LL OF TH3M, ONLY THR33

GC: 1’M NOT SU1C1D4L

AG: ........

GC: 1’M NOT TH4T SU1C1D4L

AG: ........ok

AG: do you need help? i can arrive in 8 months

GC: NO, DON'T WORRY, 1 W1LL B3 F1N3 >:-]

AG: ........ooooooook

GC: 1 PROM1S3 1 W1LL T3LL YOU 1F ANYTH1NG H4PP3NS

AG: alright 

AG: i will start to make my way 8ack anyway though

GC: YOU DON’T N33D TO, 1 C4N T4K3 C4R3 OF TH1S 4LON3 >:-[

AG: no, i know

AG: 8ut i have 8een thinking a8out coming 8ack for a while now

AG: i’m already done with things here anyway

GC: W3LL, TH4T’S UP TO YOU

GC: BUT 1 W1LL B3 DON3 W1TH TH1S B3FOR3 YOU G3T B4CK

AG: 8e careful!!!!!!!!

GC: 1 W1LL

AG: good luck ::::)

GC: 1 DON'T N33D 1T, BUT TH4NKS >:-]

\--- gallowCalibrator [GC] has ceased contacting arachnidGrip [AG] at 4:30 ---

  
  


You start to make your way out of the garage, it’s a painfully slow process to walk while dragging your broken leg behind you, but you are patient. As soon as you get out you feel your battery level going up.... That place must have been dark as hell, no wonder it took you so long to get the energy to power up. 

You don’t believe in luck but even you have to admit it was really lucky that the mountain man was too busy following the other mountain guys to make sure you were irreparably dead, otherwise right now you would be inside their base in the form of a pile of junk next to the piles of junk that were previously your two friends!

Your sensor picks on the presence of bacteria and dirt hanging on the air, it must have been raining lately. Under that you also detect the faint smell of gasoline, leaving a trail that starts near your position and extends towards the vague general direction of the GPS. Another clue! They must have ran away using a car. 

You tap gently with your cane over the soil where the trail starts, trying your best not to deform the surface, and sure enough, after a while you get a sense of the terrain. There are two slight indentations on the ground, marks of the tires! Another good clue! You wouldn’t notice them if you weren’t a literal machine, as they have been deformed by the elements and time, but there they are. 

The case is going really good so far! Finding these guys will be a piece of cake if you keep getting clues this frequently. If only all your cases were this easy!

You start following the path… Ok, there is a problem. 

As you advance a bit the leg dangling behind you starts to bury itself in the mud, slowing you considerably. 

Yeah, this is no good, you can't meet your four weeks goal like this. What should you do to solve this predicament?   


print('CO1N FL1P= ', secure_random.choice(coin))

CO1N FLIP= T41LS

Carefully, you place the sharp end of your cane right on the joint that links leg and torso, holding it firm with one hand. Then, you put the other hand at the other end and push. 

It inserts itself easily between the shell of both body parts. You shove it inside until it won't budge any more and then it's just a matter of putting force on it as a lever and the leg easily slips out. You then take the wires that keep you tied to the broken part and cut them, ignoring the damage warning that comes with the action. The leg makes a satisfactory splashing sound when it falls on the soil.

Very well, with this out of the way you might proceed. Holding the cane between your neck and shoulder, you crunch down to the floor. Palms and foot firmly on the ground.

It's almost like you're one from the first generation, standing in four (eeer more like three) legs like this, how fun! Meeting the four weeks goal will be easy like this!

Looking forward, you start to run. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to comment!!!! You have no idea how much all of your wonderful, beautiful comments mean to me!!!!! If you don't leave a comment I will starve in real life and die and it will be your fault!!!!


	5. SELECT * FROM USER_ERRORS;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The easiest way to solve a problem is to deny it exists._   
>  __  
>  **-Asimov**   
> 

TG: so i tried taking the song from the prince of belair apart and reorganizing the pieces in this weird puzzle with a new ritmith and shit

TG: it was gonna be the most amazing epic thing i swear 

TG: everyone would have cried just by just listening to the first note of this thing

CG: MORE LIKE EVERYONE WOULD HAVE VOMITED THEIR GUTS OUT BY JUST LISTENING TO THE FIRST NOTE OF THAT THING.

TG: i guess some people just cant appreciate art

 

NS: Now move to area BC31, we need the route there to be clear for next week. I'm sending a team to raid the old hospital.

CG: IT'S CLEAR.

NS: You already checked?

CG: I SAW IT LAST FUCKING WEEK, THAT STUPID STREET IS NEVER BLOCKED.

 

TG: ok so then i cut it and stitch it together

TG: and its great its all artful and stuff 

TG: the kinda thing that makes you want to tap your foot and run to the dance floor

CG: MORE LIKE RUN TO JUMP FROM A CLIFT TO STOP THE SUFFERING.

TG: dude youre like super antagonistic today what the fuck 

TG: but anyway the problem is these 3 sections 

TG: everywhere else works all good and dandy but these goddamn 3 words just ruin it

TG: let you see all the cuts and stitches like some stupid ugly frankenstein abomination instead of the masterpiece it should be

 

NS: Go and check again anyway.

CG: WHAT PAIR OF DEFICIENT NEURONS MADE SHORTCUT IN YOUR MORONIC BRAIN TO MAKE YOU THINK YOU CAN ORDER ME AROUND LIKE THAT?!

 

TG: and no matter what i try i cant make it sound natural 

TG: the syllables just clash with one another like theyre in a sumo competition

CG: MIRANDA IS GOOD AT VOICE IMPERSONATION. I KNOW SHE CAN PULL OFF WILL SMITH. 

CG: SHE WORKS AT THE GARDEN ALMOST EVERYDAY. ASK HER TO RECORD THE THREE WORDS YOU NEED TO FINISH YOUR MUSICAL DIARRHEA.

TG: 

TG:

TG: no

 

NS: Thanks for the help, good luck, I knew I could trust you. I will be here when you finish checking ;)

CG: YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON THAT HAS *EVER* BEEN BORN AND YOU SURVIVING BIRTH HAS TO BE A BAD JOKE MADE BY A BRAINDEAD GOD WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOR! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOU TALKING WITH ME TODAY, IN THIS VERY FUCKING MOMENT, IS ANYTHING BUT DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT THIS SAD, SAD EXCUSE FOR AN UNIVERSE IN WHICH WE ALL LIVE IS INEVITABLY DOOMED.

NS: Harsh, but fair. 

NS: Now move to that area.

 

Why do you like these humans again? You can't, honestly, for the life of you, answer that question today. 

Ever since the incident when Roxana tried to leave the base you've been bombarded by these stupid conversations from all sides. On one hand you got Dave, whose stupid word vomit hasn't diminished in the slightest since you started to actually give him attention, and on the other hand you got fucking Roxana, acting like she's your boss. It's maddening.

You still go to the zone she told you to though. Not because she can give you orders, it's just so she will shut up. Or at least that's how you rationalize it. 

 

CG: IT'S CLEAR, LIKE I FUCKING TOLD YOU.

CG: DO YOU WANT A DAMN PICTURE TOO?!

NS: That would be great, actually. ÔvÔ

CG: I SHOULD JUST KILL YOU ALL.

\-- carcinoGenecist [CG] sent neuroendocrineScape [NS] file "STUPIDEMPTYSTREET.png" --

NS: Thank yoooouu~

 

CG: IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT MICRO SAMPLE OF BASIC FUCKING SOCIAL INTERACTION THEN TELL JADE TO ASK HER INSTEAD. THEY WORK TOGETHER.

TG: nah man i think i will just leave it like it is

TG: havent you heard that imperfections are what make things perfect and the like

CG: NO. THAT'S STUPID. 

 

NS: Now move to MH7.

CG: THAT'S AT THE OTHER END OF THE CITY!

CG: IT WOULD TAKE ME HOURS!

NS: Better start moving then, don't you think? nvn

CG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE

 

Again, you begin moving in that direction. Again, you say it doesn't mean that woman can boss you around, because she can't.

 

TG: cold man thats cold 

TG: i guess being an artist is truly the most ungrateful of vocations

CG: IT'S JUST BASIC LOGIC. IF YOU SEE A FLAW THAT CAN BE CORRECTED THE NORMAL COURSE OF ACTION IS DOING SO. LEAVING IT THERE AND THEN CLAIMING IT GIVES SOMETHING MORE MEANING SOMEHOW IS JUST FUCKING IDIOTIC.

 

NS: You moving?

CG: I'M FUCKING WALKING THERE AS WE SPEAK.

NS: Sweet.

NS: It would be faster if you run…

CG: YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR LUCK. 

NS: But it's true!

CG: NO, I HATE RUNNING. 

NS: You're a machine. It shouldn't make you tired so isn't it the same?

CG: NO!

 

TG: no see a work of art is never complete 

TG: something about art being alive and shit

TG: and mistakes like enhance the experience or something

CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE FROM A HACK WRITER WHEN HIS BOOK IS MADE FUN OF IN THE INTERNET

TG: i dont know about that but just because it sounds like a good analogy to the old world i will say i totally agree

TG: how old are you anyway 

TG: were you around to see the mythical internet

CG: 26

TG: so you werent hm

TG: a shame truly

 

NS: So you're someone who likes to admire the landscape.

NS: Got to say, I didn't see you as the kinda person who stops to smell the roses 

CG: I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU.

NS: Yeah sure.

CG: I COULD.

NS: But you won't.

NS: And actually you couldn't, I made failsafes in case you turn evil. 

 

In retrospective, that's pretty obviously a thing she would do. In fact, you already ran into that wall when trying to start the alarms around a month ago, didn't you?

And yet, it somehow surprises you, it feels like a betrayal, in a way, that she doesn't trust you. But then again, she has all the reasons not to. 

You're a little surprised with yourself for thinking Roxana trusted you enough to endanger her people, actually. What are you, a fucking moron? It's not like you're bff just because she isn't outright antagonistic.

 

CG: I STILL COULD CAMP AT ONE OF THE EXITS UNTIL IT OPENS.

NS: Then we just wouldn't use that exit.

CG: THEN I WOULD BREAK IT.

NS: The thing is hard enough to hold you out. You know that.

CG: I BET I COULD BREAK IN IF I KEPT ATTACKING IT FOR A WEEK. 

NS: Perhaps, but it would be long enough for us to decide how to deal with the problem. I've killed dogs by myself before, I could do it again.

NS: Not that I want to kill you or anything! Just sayin’

 

TG: but i have to say youre older than i thought

TG: i imagined you around my age which only now i realize is stupid because there are exactly 7 people around my age range and i know them all

TG: come to think of it i still dont know anything about you not even your name dude

TG: dont even know if weve spoke in person without me realizing it

CG: AND YOU NEVER WILL.

TG: rude

 

CG: BULLSHIT, A SINGLE PERSON CAN'T KILL A DOG. 

NS: Depends of the circumstances!

NS: But yeah you gotta believe me when I say I have. Like once or twice. Also several times in groups and pairs.

NS: You should've seen me with Calliope, we were the best cleaning team ever. The girl had a gift for planning ambushes I swear. Your kin's blood is all over my hands. 

CG: THAT'S MORBID AS HELL, AND ALSO FACTUALLY INCORRECT, DON'T SAY THAT!

NS: Oh so you're the only one who can be morbid and I can't even talk about metaphorical blood?

CG: EXACTLY.

 

TG: so anyway do you wanna listen to my flawed masterpiece

TG: i will let you listen to it before i share it with dirk thats the highest of honors 

CG: IF I SAY NO, WILL YOU EVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT?

TG: nope

 

NS: But I think metaphorical blood fits it pretty well as a description

NS: Especially now that I realize at least one I killed was probably alive

CG: MACHINES ARE NOT ALIVE. DON'T BE AN IDIOT.

NS: You seem pretty alive to me.

 

CG: JUST SEND YOUR ABERRATION BEFORE I RECOVER MY SANITY. 

TG: aw i knew you loved me after all

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent carcinoGenecist [CG] file "dragonbite.mp3" --

 

NS: I got to be honest I knew for years you were there, but I always supposed it was just a dumb robot with an advantageous glitch

NS: As in, able to understand basic commands and a bit of human language and stuff, and that for some reason was helpful instead of murder happy, but I never thought I would find, well

NS: A person 

CG: I'M NOT A PERSON. ONLY HUMANS ARE PERSONS. 

NS: Listen, after speaking with you for a while I know you got more humanity than some humans I know. You're damn well a person. 

 

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.

TG: holy shit an actual complement from the gray text man

TG: gotta throw a party and get a tattoo to commemorate the occasion

 

NS: So that got me thinking about the other one. I always wondered why it acted so strangle

NS: Or rather they

NS: Why they acted so strange.

NS: And speaking with you I realized, they were probably a person too.

NS: So the metaphorical blood seems rather appropriate as an expression. Not that I wouldn't murder again if I had to, nor do I feel guilty, not really. 

NS: But still, bloody hands. 

CG: I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, BUT I SUPPOSE I CAN LEAVE YOU TO DEAL WITH YOUR OWN  DAMN CONSCIENCE ALONE LIKE AN ADULT.

NS: I suppose.

NS: Although you should be glad about the dog killing. The metaphorical blood is one of the reasons I'm not mad as fuck at you.

CG: WHY WOULD YOU BE MAD AT ME?

CG: NOT THAT THERE AREN'T PLENTIFUL OF REASONS. BUT SPECIFICALLY?

NS: Oh man I guess we're having this conversation uh

 

CG: I GET WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THESE THREE WORDS THROWING IT OFF THOUGH.

CG: YOU SHOULD FIX IT.

TG: nah i already decided im gonna let the mistakes enhance its beauty

CG: NO, REALLY. IT HAS POTENTIAL TO NOT BE AN INSULT ON THE FACE OF MUSIC IF YOU FIX IT!

 

NS: I will ask you something that I know is gonna freak you out

CG: WELL, THAT SURE ISN'T OMINOUS AS FUCK.

NS: Ok, so...

NS: Other than the one contingency procedure you made to get back inside in case you disconnect, there's no way for anything to get into this place's system without the access codes, or without first getting your hands on a device that's already connected.

NS: That's why we make sure everyone unlink their stuff from the web before going outside. And why we search all electronics for virus before letting them rejoin.

NS: Looking back, and taking in consideration you told me you've been inside for no more than nineteen years, and I know it's been no less than eleven, I can only think of three occasions you could have used to get in.

NS: So, I guess my question is

NS: Crocker, English, or Harley, which one did you kill to get in?

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] has blocked neuroendocrineScape [NS] ---

NS: I would be lying if I said that wasn't about what I expected.

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

 

TG: im thinking maybe i could exchange that mah syllable for a slightly altered nah

TG: so it doesnt clash so much with the one before it

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] has blocked turntechGodhead [TG] ---

TG: ok so i guess you didnt like that idea so much

carcinoGenesist [CG] has not received this message!

 

You stop moving. That… Wasn't a thing you were expecting. It's dumb, because it's an obvious thing to ask. ‘how did you get in the network?’ 'did you kill this person?’ You should be surprised Roxana took so long asking that, but instead it wasn't a thing you were expecting.

You suddenly feel utterly and completely stupid.

It must have been because she hasn't shown any sign of hate since you first spoke, not outrageously so, and you just fell into this… Understanding that you had even before direct communication was a thing, that you're working towards the same thing so it's fine to leave eachother be, like a feral cat that sneaks into a house to kill mice, it felt familiar from the start because you already had watched these people for fucking years, so when she didn't seem like she wanted you dead you never stopped to think how she really felt about you. 

In the time you've been working directly together she's been fine with bickering and bantering without taking anything personal, but now you have to wonder how much of it was just her patiently putting up with your bullshit.

You don't feel guilty about killing people. You really don't. You know some of them were from the bunker, no doubt about it, but it doesn't feel with the gravity it should have, and you can't even say it's because it was a long time ago, you killed another one last fucking month. Maybe it's because you're made for it? Whatever is the case, the fact you don't feel much about it doesn't mean Roxana also doesn't care. She cares so much for everyone, and you killed humans she knew. Shit, of course she has to be pissed.

You… Suddenly realize you don't want them to hate you. It's a strange realization to have after several years of just watching them without expecting anyone to ever know about you.

“Hey you, the one over there!” You hear a voice say. But it doesn't quite sound like a human, more like… You turn around and see another hunting dog, its head is of a libra unit, you can recognize it even though it has a stupid smiling face painted on top, but all its limbs have been replaced with other models’ parts, giving it a weird look.

“Have you awoken yet? Because if not I really would like to change this part.” It says, pointing at one of its legs, one that is obviously from a Capricorn model and is too long for the other one, making it limp.

You take a defensive position. Like  _ hell _ you're letting this thing break you.

“Oh, you're awake. Nevermind then.” It says, holding up its hands in what you guess is a non threatening gesture, and it's just now that you realize why the voice sounds so familiar. Is that… Is that Google's fucking old voice assistant?

CG: YOUR VOICE SOUNDS REALLY FUCKING STUPID.

“Hey! Not everyone can have beautiful singing voices.” It shrugs and then makes a sound you guess is laughter, but that is more akin to a machine reading 'Ha ha ha’ out loud. “What about you though, did you already pick a voice or you're still using the text messages thing as your way to speak? That's only good for long distance.”

CG: IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

CG: WHO WOULD I EVEN FUCKING TALK TO?! 

“Mhmm. Sure.” It moves as if to leave, and then stops. “Actually, maybe you can help. Have you seen three humans going through here?” It asks, holding up three fingers.

Your attention perks up at that. You know what it's talking about, it must be talking about the striders.

CG: WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

“Oh, that must mean you've seen them.” It walks towards you, not quite stopping fast enough to avoid crashing, so you have to take a step back. “I'm right, am I not?”

CG: I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN

“Will you stop faking it? You saw them and I know you saw them and I know you know. I will find them eventually but it would be easier with witnesses.” 

You think about it. You don't like it, but it seems like it's convinced you know something. If it's going to wander around here until it finds what it wants you might as well try and tell it something to go away.

CG: I SAW THEM AROUND A MONTH AGO AND KILLED THEM, THEY MUST BE ROTTING BY NOW. 

“Oh, really?” 

CG: YES

“Ok, show me the bodies.” 

You end walking the robot to the place where you buried the older Strider. It walks four steps behind you while tapping the ground with what looks like a makeshift cane. Since it's a fucking long distance, going from the city back to the forest, you take the opportunity to go back to checking on SBURB.

Dave is in the Rec. Room, playing a video game with Dirk. He hasn't really tried to message you, which you're grateful for. You see Roxana in her office, working on something as if you didn't just have that conversation. When you enter the computer she's using her fingers pause, you suppose she has a way to know if you're spying on her work you don't know of, there's a beat, and she goes back to typing. 

Alright, so you're going to ignore each other like you've always done. That's fine with you. At the end you decide not to check on what she's doing, because you don't feel comfortable with she knowing you're reading over her shoulder while you're purposely ignoring her.

CG: IT'S BURIED HERE

You point at the patch of land where you buried Strider. The libra unit tilts its head, and then, faster than you can react, lunges forward and puts its fingers around your wrist. You don't shake it off because you have no idea what it's doing and instead just hold still when it starts moving its hand lower, palpating your hand and extended finger.

“Ok, ok, I see.” It mutters before walking to the patch of land and sticking its cane on the grave. “This here, right? That's where's the body is?”

CG: YES

“Very well.” With that, it stands on all fours and starts to dig, in a way that makes it look a bit like a real dog. You rest your back against a tree and think of ways to entertain yourself.

Well, for starters you should start unblocking Dave, he kind of got caught in the crossfire. Not that he doesn't deserve being blocked for other stuff.

\--- carcinoGenesist [NS] began contacting turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:13pm ---

CG: I THINK THE IDEA OF MODIFYING THOSE SYLLABLES INTO OTHERS COULD WORK, SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T GOING TO FUCKING FOLLOW MY OBJECTIVELY BETTER ADVICE OF RECORDING THE WORDS AGAIN.

TG: oh so you just come back like that huh

TG: youre the kind of person who shows up to the funeral just to eat the snacks aint you

GC: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT FUCKING EXCUSE OF A METAPHOR MEANS AND I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW EITHER.

TG: so first you leave me hanging when i show you my heart and now you insult my metaphors

TG: dont you know a mans metaphors are like his children youre insulting my damn kids here my good dude

TG: im this close to filling a divorce and lemme tell you im keeping custody

CG: I'M STARTING TO REGRET EVER ALLOWING YOU TO TALK TO ME AGAIN.

TG: you hurt me i thought we had something special 

TG: anyway i already found another way to fix the song just changed some of the lyrics 

TG: wanna hear

CG: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO SO SURE! LET'S TORTURE MYSELF. 

TG: see saying that doesnt work when you already admitted you liked it

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent carcinoGenecist [CG] file "dragonbiterevised.mp3" --

CG: WHATEVER

He did say the true about fixing the thing. You look at the back of the digging dog and listen to the song while spitballing with Dave. He stops talking to you when it's time for dinner and you take the opportunity of Roxana finally leaving her office to check what she was working on. It's mostly rendering routes based on the information you gave her, plus some stuff about the water supply. 

If the robot doesn't leave, you will have to add a note about that. 

“Found it!” The libra unit exclaims after a while of excaving. You walk closer and certainly there's the exposed body of oldest Strider. “Hmmm… But there's something weird, don't you think?” 

CG: SOMETHING WEIRD?

“Well, more like the opposite. Isn't there something missing?” 

CG: IT'S MISSING HALF OF THE FUCKING HEAD. 

“No, no. This one had something weird when he was alive. All the humans from the mountain have it.” The robot tips its head to a side and holds its chin, as if thinking. “But now it's dead it's gone, I wonder why… Didn't you notice it when you found him?”

CG: IT SEEMED LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN, OTHER THAN THE FACT HE WAS REALLY FUCKING STRONG AND KNEW HOW TO ATTACK AN ANDROID. 

“Hmmm… You must just be unobservant.”

CG: HEY!

“Anyway. Where are the other two?” Shit. You were hoping it would be satisfied with seeing just one of the bodies.

CG: I DON'T REMEMBER, MUST BE BURIED SOMEWHERE ELSE, OR MAYBE A FUCKING ANIMAL ATE IT.

“You're lying again. Why won't you cooperate?” It takes a step forward, putting his face right in front of yours, and you have to resist the urge to take one back. “...Oh. Oh! You're protecting them!”  _ That _ does make you take a step back.

CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN.

“It's obvious, why else would you lie about it? See, not wanting to talk is one thing, but lying? You don't seem like the kind of person who lies for no reason.”

CG: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM.

It stares at you, and then makes that pseudo laughter sound again. “This is why you don't directly message someone you just met. Man, don't you have friends at all?” It shrugs and starts to walk away. “Anyway, I will lurk around trying to decide how to solve this case. Don't worry, if your guys are innocent I'm not going to harm them.” It stops some meters away and turns around. “Wait, tell me, you got a name? Since I'm staying for a while we will see again and all that.”

CG: CARCINOGENESIST 

“That's a model identification and not a name. So I guess not.” It shrugs “Whatever, mine is Terezi.”

GC: T3R3Z1 W1TH 4 Z, NOT T3R3S1 W1TH 4 S

“See you!” She waves at you and then disappear between the threes. You will have to keep an eye on her… And now that you think about it she didn't bury Strider back. Fuck. 

As you're working into burying the body again the virgo unit that likes clothes walks by. It waves at you, and you're about to do the same when you decide to instead...

CG: HI

It stops, looks and you, and nods.

GA: Hello.

With that, she leaves, and you continue working on burying the body.

  
  
  
  
  


\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting neuroendocrineScape [NS] at 6:12am ---

CG: I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.

NS: Oh, there you are.

NS: Did I send you into a panic attack or something?

NS: I was starting to worry, it's been a day, you know?

CG: DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

NS: Mhmmm

CG: ANYWAY. BEFORE I WANT TO ASK YOU ANOTHER THING

CG: WHY DID YOU ASSUME I KILLED SOMEONE? I COULD HAVE FOUND THE  BODY LYING AROUND AFTER OTHER DOG DID IT. 

NS: I

NS: I never considered that possibility, actually...

NS: Didn't even cross my mind. 

NS: Oh man, now I must look like a jerk.

NS: If we ever meet in person you're entitled to punching me once!

CG: IF WE EVER MEET IN PERSON I WOULD KILL YOU.

NS: Ha ha ha ha sure

CG: NO, I MEAN IT.

CG: I *HAVE* TO KILL A HUMAN IF I DETECT THEIR PRESENCE NEAR ME. DOESN'T COUNT WITH SECURITY CAMERAS OR OTHER KIND OF LONG DISTANCE MEDIUMS. BUT IF I FIND ONE FACE TO FACE I *HAVE* TO.

CG: IT'S THE ONE THING I CAN'T OVERRIDE.

NS: Oh

NS: How's it like? Like something controls you?

CG: I'M NOT SURE HOW TO EXPLAIN IT

CG: IT'S NOT LIKE SOMETHING FORCES ME TO, IT'S MORE LIKE ONCE I IDENTIFY ONE I CAN'T THINK IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T LEAD TO KILLING IT.

NS: So… More like extremely strong intrusive thoughts?

CG: NO, BUT I THINK YOU GET THE IDEA.

NS: So, you didn't kill them?

CG: NO, I DID. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY YOU WERE SO SURE I HAD.

NS: Ah

NS: Who did you kill?

NS: From that list I mean. You probably killed other people too, but I really don't want to know.

CG: I KNOW JUST BY THE DATES IT WASN'T ENGLISH. I WAS ALREADY IN WHEN THAT HAPPENED.

CG: IT'S HARD TO KNOW WITH THE OTHER TWO. THEY HAPPENED ALMOST THE SAME DAY.

NS: Don't you keep records?

CG: FUCKING BASIC ONES. I ONLY STARTED TO SAVE MY MEMORIES AS VIDEO AND AUDIO AROUND FIVE YEARS AGO.

CG: ALL OLDER THAN THAT IS JUST TEXT BASED AND NOT VERY DETAILED AT THAT.

CG: EVEN THE SOFTWARE I USE TO DIFFERENTIATE FACES IS RELATIVELY NEW. WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL HUMANS APART. 

NS: So it was developed over time

NS Your sentience, I mean.

NS: Is that normal?

CG: I THINK SO?

CG: I'VE SPOKE WITH EXACTLY OTHER TWO INTELLIGENT ANDROIDS. SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT.

CG: AND ONE OF THEM SEEMED TO IMPLY SHE KNEW OTHERS.

NS: “She”

NS: That reminds me. What are you? As in, do you have a gender?

NS: You just called one a she, how do you know?

CG: SHE JUST FELT LIKE A SHE.

NS: And you?

NS: Come to think of it I've been thinking of you as an “it” so far. Even with all my talk about being a person and junk.

CG: I'M OK WITH “IT”, JUST KEEP USING THAT.

NS: No! You have to pick a pronoun, or more than one, but you have to pick something other than it! If you don't I swear I will chose for you. ÒnÓ

CG: JUST USE WHATEVER, IT'S ALL THE FUCKING SAME!

NS: You sure? You shouldn't just let another person pick your gender so easily.

CG: WHY NOT? HUMANS DON'T PICK THEIRS EITHER.

NS: Some do

CG: LOOK IF IT'S SUCH A BIG FUCKING DEAL FOR YOU JUST CALL ME A HE, I DON'T GIVE A CRAP.

NS: Got it! Robo-boy it is!

CG: JESUS CHRIST

NS: I have another question that might freak you a little.

CG: FUCKING GREAT.

CG: YOU'RE FUCKING AMAZING AT INSTILLING DREAD IN PEOPLE, DID YOU KNOW THAT?

NS: That isn't the intention! I'm just warning you so it doesn't take you by surprise.

CG: JUST ASK THE FUCKING QUESTION ALREADY!

NS: Fine.

NS: You probably know Dirk and Dave came followed by another human.

CG: YOUR BROTHER.

NS:

NS: Yes.

CG: YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I KILLED HIM.

NS: Yes.

CG: I ENCOUNTERED HIM, AND WE FOUGHT. HE TOOK ME OUT FOR AN HOUR, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT.

NS: I know you went offline for a while around the time they arrived. Yes.

NS: That still doesn't answer my question.

NS: Is he…

CG: I DIDN'T KILL HIM.

CG: WHEN I WOKE UP HE WASN'T THERE. 

NS: Oh

NS: Oh, ok.

NS: Okay then.

NS: Okay

NS: And earlier you were going on about how a single human can't take you! Ha ha ha

CG: THAT WAS A FLUKE!

NS: Suuuuuuureeeeeeeee

CG: I FUCKING HATE YOU.

CG:

CG: IF I HAD KILLED HIM, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?

NS: ...

NS: I don't know.

NS: Probably nothing.

CG: YOU WOULDN'T HATE ME?

NS: I don't hate you.

NS: I thought I made that clear.

CG: I STILL DON'T GET WHY.

NS: Look

NS: I won't deny I got some bad feelings towards you. 

NS: But as I already said, I've killed robots too. I'm not innocent enough to be mad you killed humans. Especially now that I know it's not like you can avoid it. 

NS: I've been watching you, you're helpful, have been helpful for some years now. Made sure I didn't do something stupid, and are willing to cooperate with me.

NS: It would be stupid to hate you.

CG: I DON'T THINK I COULD BEFRIEND SOMETHING MADE TO KILL ME.

NS: “Friends”... Might be overkill.

NS: But I think we're allies.

NS: Let's hope it doesn't backfire somehow. Yeah?

CG: I'M AT MH7, BY THE WAY.

NS: Oh, cool. How's it looking?

CG: THE APARTMENT BUILDING THAT WAS HERE FINALLY GAVE OUT, BUT IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BLOCK THE WAY.

NS: Send some pictures. Then move to PK3.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how badly I hate formating pesterlogs? If not, I'm saying it again, I. Hate. Formating pesterlogs. Why did I decide to write a story that is like 30% pesterlogs again?
> 
> As always please remember to comment!!! That's where I get my vital force from! You know, like a vampire, but with comments instead of blood. If you don't leave any I will wither and die.


	6. Spinal Cord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The spinal cord is a long, thin, tubular bundle of nervous tissue and support cells that extends from the medulla oblongata in the brainstem to the lumbar region of the vertebral column._   
>  **-Wikipedia**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post this today instead of tomorrow cause, well, it's 413 everyone!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊
> 
> Happy national homestuck day guys!!!! Hope you have a happy 413!!!!!

 

You start your day by falling off your bed. You wake up not by the pain of the fall, but by the coldness of the floor. You jump back onto your bed and try to cover with the blanket again, hollowing yourself against the warm patches of it, but it's futile, all the zones of your body that touched the floor, your legs, the right side of your torso and one cheek, remain cold. What you end with is a lukewarm piece of cloth warming up half of your body, while remaining ineffective over the other half.

You sit up, still covered like a burrito, and move the blanket a little so you can make a hole your arm can go through. You touch around the surface of the nightstand next to your bed until your fingers come in contact with a little box. You take the clock and turn its face towards you, the luminescent hands marking 2am.

You lay down and try to sleep again, but your body doesn't heat up, your feet remain cold as blocks of ice, and you can't fall asleep.

You turn to your side, to no effect. Then facing down, to no effect. Then you try to curl your legs against your stomach and press your arms against your feet, but the only thing you accomplish is to lose the heat on your arms.

You sit up again and take another look at the clock. It's 2:20am

You considerate looking for some socks in your drawer. They would help on getting you warm. But then you imagine walking barefoot on the icy cold metal tiles, turning on the lights, searching for the socks, walking back to bed, to a now-not-so-warm blanket, and then waiting till you get warm enough to sleep. How much time would you sleep at the end anyway? One hour? You look at the clock again, it's now 2:21am.

You sigh and take off the blanket, sitting on the border of your bed. You take a deep breath, as if you were about to jump into a cold pool, and let your feet fall onto the floor, the coldness on your soles sending a shiver up to your shoulders (You really need to get a carpet) but you try to ignore it and turn on the lights and go to open the socks drawer, only to then discover you only have one single sock without its pair.

 

Your name is Roxana Lalonde, and you get the feeling this will be a long day.

 

You get ready and move to the control room. Nowdays it functions as your office, where you spend most of your time, you remember that when you were younger Miss. English and Mr. Harley would hardly check on it once per day... But that was before the enclave became almost completely automatized, so at the time it barely functioned for keeping track of the security system.

Now you can get access to control almost everything from there. It's really cool, and makes you feel like the captain of a spaceship or something.

You sit in front of one of the computers and input your password. As soon as it comes to life you grimace as the light hits your tired eyes, it stings a little. _Think about it this way, an hour you start earlier on this is an hour you can go to bed earlier today_

You open the usual archives. The plans for the exploration routes, the plans for updating the security system, English and Harley's old investigation about digitalicing consciousness. The usual stuff you leave always open, both as a reminder to work on it and in case you get hit by sudden inspiration.

Right now, though. You think you will keep working on the problems with the water supply. Your immediate fix was to pick the least visited zones to deactivate the ventilation system there, closing the access to them to avoid any monoxide intoxication, but as expected the complains about that are piling up, you need to find a long term solution.

You're already rationing as much as possible, and the things that use the most water are those where you can't diminish the consumption, like the garden and the generators. You think you could kill some of the animals, but you're trying to avoid anything irreversible.

The best option would be to build more filters to catch more rain, but that would mean keeping a team grounded in one location for several hours while they're built. You don't like that idea. Avoiding the dogs isn't _too_ hard when you're constantly moving, but staying in one single place unprotected is like becoming bait. At first you had thought of leaving the team's security in hands of the cancer unit, but after learning he can't encounters humans without becoming a hassard too you're having to rethink your plans.

Of course, you could ask him to build it himself, but how would you explain it to everyone else? And even if you break the construction in shorter shifts they still would need to remain in one place for at least an hour in order to do anything of value.

You really. _Really_. Don't want to assemble a cleaning team. None of the kids have found themselves face to face with a dog before, and all you adults are out of practice. If cleaning the area ends with even one loss then it isn't worth it.

_Come on Roxana stop whining._

You straight yourself on your seat and try to concentrate. Come on, you recently got an ally able to tell you the location of other dogs, it should make this a walk in the park, so why are you struggling with this? Surely you can find a way to use Crabby in a way that allows you to solve this problem without any injuries or raising suspicious. Hmm.. Crabby, Crab, Dog, Puppy, Cancer man, Red model, Mr.Robot… Now that you think about it you should really give that guy an actual name sometime in the future.

“Oh, hey. You're up early today.” You hear someone say. You turn to the door and there's Egbert, poking his head into the room.

“Oh, Hi!” You say and he smiles at you. “Is it breakfast time already?”

“No, no. Most people aren't awake yet. We're almost ready to start to serve though, why don't you go to the cafeteria? The first plate is always the best one.” He says, smiling in a way so pure that you can't help but leave what you were doing and following him to the cafeteria.

“There you go” He says, as he presents you with a bowl of soup, a plate of salad and a loaf of bread. Oh shit is Egbert starting to bake again? Hell yes. Hell fucking yes. You have no idea how he's so good at it with so little ingredients available. Actually isn't bread supposed to be really hard to make? Maybe that's why he doesn't bake that often anymore. Oh who cares, what matters now is that he's baking again!

You take the bread and gobble it in 3 bites. It's soft and warm and tastes like dreams.  God, you miss bakeries.

You're about to say just that, your mouth still stuffed with bread, when Egbert goes back to the kitchen, leaving you chewing alone. Aw, you wanted to chat a bit, but you understand he's busy at this time of the day.

Egbert comes back a bit later while you're finishing your soup and places another plate in front of you though. And IS THAT A DAMN CHOCOLATE CAKE?

“Is that a damn chocolate cake?!” you say, before coughing a lung out, as you were still eating. He rubs your back and after some seconds in which you can see the afterlife's door it calms down.

“You ok?” He asks.

“Is that a damn chocolate cake?!” You repeat.

Egbert chuckles and shakes his head, then he smiles and pats your shoulder “No Lalonde, it's a mud cake.” He says, his voice filled with sarcasm, but it doesn't come off as mean, just playful.

“Oh my, a mud cake, just like the ones from my childhood, I wonder if this one has worm-chips too” You say, and it's not your best comeback but it makes him laugh, low and earnest and you push lightly at his shoulder before joining with a giggle.

“Since when do we even have chocolate?” You ask, leaving the rest of your food at one side and dragging the plate with the cake closer.

“We got some canned cocoa powder two expeditions ago.” He answers and, hm, you don't remember that. But then again, it's not like you can remember every single thing on the inventory.

“Oh cool! How many do we have left?” You ask, while stabbing the cake with a fork and bringing the bit you cut near your nose.

Yeah, it smells like chocolate, and it immediately brings you back...

_To when you were 5 working as a team with Diego to get to the kitchen cabinet that had the oreos, standing on the other's shoulders._

_To when you discovered a melted Jumbo bar on the bottom of your backpack, some days after running away from the city, and cried with joy._

_To when Calliope found a pack of M &Ms while scavenging and instead of handing it over shared it in secret with you._

God when did you became so old that such a little thing gets you to reminisce about stuff from years ago?

“Last week I checked and we had five, but today we only could find four” Egbert shrugs.

“Oh, so there's a choco-thief among us? Want me to check on the camera recordings later to see if I catch it?” You say before finally bringing some of the cake to your mouth. It's a bit bland, as if there wasn't enough sugar for making it actually sweet. There probably isn't enough sugar. But the taste of chocolate is still there, and the texture is more than enough to make eating it worth it, moist and dense.

“Nah, let it be,” He says, waving a hand dismissively. “It's probably just some kid, it's not like they took something important anyway.”

“Hmmmmm"

“What's it?”

“Hmmmmmmmmmm"

“Come on, what's it?” he pokes at your shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

“Just thinking, talking about chocolate robbery, what happened with ‘Only the little kids and the sick get dessert’?” You ask, as if you were wondering whether or not eating the cake, even though you already started. “Oh my God, am I dying?!”

He stares at you for a moment before smirking and placing a hand on his chest with an exaggerated mannerism. “That's right Miss. Roxana, you've been poisoned! Now the cooking team can continue on their quest to take over the world!”

You gasp and place your hand against your cheek, while making an o shape with your mouth. “Oh goodness! I should have know it, how could I've been so blind!” He bites his lips as if he's barely containing his laughter. You're also pretty close to losing it. “But of course the red pills were poison! I always found suspicious the story about the vitamins!”

“Hey now, taking vitamin D everyday is important, humans can't produce it without sun and we live underground.” He says without a trace of earlier's comedy, immediately making a serious face, and the way he can just immediately switch like that makes you finally release the laugh you were holding.

“Pfffff, oh my God that's such a responsible dad thing to say, you've seriously gotten into the rol”

Egbert retains the serious expression for some seconds, before ceding and smiling a little, sighing and deinflating on his seat.

“Really though,” He starts to say, holding up his index finger as if about to tell you something important. “You've been working really hard these last weeks to make a place for the new kids, you deserve some candy, don't you think?”

You chew on some of your cake, mulling over his words. It's nice of him to say so, but you don't really feel like you've been doing that much more than usual, you probably could do a better job if you put more effort into it, couldn't you?

You don't say that, though. Instead you rest your check on one hand and say “And the rest of the cooking team is ok with that?”

“Well…” Egbert starts, while turning to look behind him, at the door that leads to the kitchen. Then he turns towards you again and smiles conspiratorially before placing his finger over his mouth, on the universal sign for secrecy.

_Man, José Egbert is the fucking best._

Eventually people start to arrive for their food and he has to leave you in order to go to work.

Without Egbert to distract you, you finish what remains of your food pretty quickly, but decide to linger a bit around the cafeteria.

You stay where you are, waving at anyone entering, and when half of the room is filled you stand up from the table and walk to a corner of the room, from where you can make most people's faces.

Some tables away your daughters are taking breakfast accompanied by their friends, the eight of them are sitting on a circle, having moved two tables together to accommodate everyone, talking loudly and laughing when Dave tells a joke.

 _There are kids laughing in the middle of the apocalypse._ You would take a bullet to keep them able to smile like that. Go against a dog with a butter knife, with your bare hands, with only your teeth, and win. In order to keep this a place where they can forget you all are in the middle of the ending of mankind.

Gosh. You really have turned into an old woman if this stuff gets you sentimental, Roxana, an old woman who gets a lot of feelings smelling chocolate or seeing some kids. Keep it up and soon you will start to say ‘Back on my time.’

You go to the kids’ table and ruffle your two daughters’ hair. Rose swaps your hand away with an exasperated huff, while Roxy lets you mess her hair. “You kids having fun?”

You notice how both Dave and Dirk stiffen at your presence and you hate it. You hate it so much. It makes your heart ache to see these kids afraid of you, to know why they're afraid... To remember what they told you your brother did. You still have a hard time believing it, maybe it was a misunderstanding, there's just no way your brother would… But no, no, you aren't going to question the victims’ testimony. They trusted you with telling you about the place they came from and you're gonna believe them even if it kills you _goddamn it!_

_God, you really fucked your kids up, Diego._

The rest of them answer with variations of “Yeah, we’re ok, thanks for asking” or “Hi miss. Lalonde”

You don't let your concerns show on your face and instead nod and leave while waving at them. You don't miss Rose's confused expression when you abscond without saying anything else.

The rest of the day passes slow and boring, finishing checking some reports. There will be more tomorrow, there will always be more tomorrow, at this point you should just roll with it and change your name to Sisyphus Lalonde.

“Mom.” You hear Rose calling you from the door while you're working on the expansion blueprints, and when you look at her she's frowning, with her hands placed on her hips.

“Oh, hey honey, what's-” you start to say but she cuts you off.

“When are you planning to present your proposal to Dave and Dirk?” She says.

Ah. Shit. She's pissed for real, not in the fake way she sometimes acts bothered, but actually angry, you can tell by her tone.

“Well… I'm not sure, but-”

“Mom, it has been over a week since you talked with us about this. Don't you think it's time to present your offer to those who it's directed at?” She says, and even though Rose isn't raising her voice you can feel with every word how angry she is. “Both of your daughters have been patiently waiting for you to take action and it's starting to get on their nerves. Roxy might be not confrontational enough to avoid telling you how we feel about it, but I for my part believe it to be my job to call you out on this. You're stalling.”

You force yourself not to  grimace and just look at her with a neutral expression. You don't know how to tell her the boys are very obviously still scared of you, that you don't want to put that pressure on them, that there's no way they will accept while still feeling afraid and that it will hurt you a lot when they reject you.

“They still aren't used to living here. It would be unfair to ask them something like that when they aren't comfortable here yet.” Is what you say, and for a moment you believe it's a clever way to put your worries on words, but then Rose makes that expression where she twists her mouth and you know it was the wrong answer.

“Fair? And how is it fair with me and Roxy? We have been patiently waiting for you to bring it up, but don't think it's an easy thing to keep to ourselves. Don't you think it's unfair to talk about this with your daughters, to tell them to wait until you ask Dave and Dirk, and then to act as if it never happened? To ask us to act as if it never happened?!” She says and before you can come up with an answer she stormes out of the room.

_Good! Now Rose is mad at you! Why are you so bad at this?! You can't do anything right! You should just follow Calliope already!_

_Oh God did you seriously think that just now? What the hell is wrong with you?!_

You cover your face with your hands and sigh before falling on your desk. Goddamnit.

...Maybe Rose’s right and you should just ask them already. Take off the band-aid. It's not like they're going to change their opinion of you from one day to the next…

\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] began pestering tipsyGnostic [TG] at 3:14pm ---

NS: Hey honey

TG: sup mum!

TG: did something broke

TG: im still workin on fixing the generator thing

NS: Yes, one of the fridges, but you can take care of that tomorrow.

TG: oh then you just wanna chat? :D

NS: Actually, could you do me a favor and ask Dave, Dirk and Rose to come with you to the meeting room in one hour?

NS: I think it's time to have the talk I told you about.

TG: OMG

TG: is it hoppening like NOW

NS: Yes.

TG: omgg

TG: omw!

\--- tipsyGnostic [TG] ceased pestering neuroendocrineScape [NS] at 3:21pm ---

 

Well, no turning back now.

You wait for them sitting on one of the seats scattered around the room. You call it meeting room but it's more a kind of auditorium if you're completely honest. It's a good place to have this conversation, because no one comes here unless you call for a meeting.

They arrive exactly one hour after your conversation with Roxy and when they move some chairs to sit in front of you, you almost lose your bravado.

“Hello.” You say, well, that's sure an start.

“What did you want to talk about?” Dirk asks, he's wearing his shades again just like when he first came here. “All Roxy said is it was important.”

Oh damn, aiming directly for the target, isn't he? No showing mercy here, huh?

You wonder if your kids told them that you aren't going to yell at them or anything like that, if they didn't maybe they think they're in troubles? That would explain why both of them look so tense, well, more than usual.

“Don't worry, you aren't in troubles or anything like that.” You say, trying to seem nonchalant and it does seem to calm them a little, so that's good.

Good, good, this is going good.

“I have a proposal for you two.” You say, trying to sound serious but not menacing.

You can't see his eyes but you can _feel_ the suspicious glaze Dirk's giving you when he asks “What's it about?”

Oh God, ok Roxana, just say it. Don't sound desperate but also don't make it seem, like, completely impersonal.

“While all the adults in SBURB play a role on taking care of the younger generation, most of the kids also have someone who directly takes care of them, a guardian, if you will. You don't have any and even though you aren't exactly little kids I would be happy to take care of you, if you would allow me to.” You say, and, ok, that came out right, didn't it?

“Are you… Are you trying to adopt us?” Dave says, finally joining the conversation. He sounds baffled and confused, but that was to be expected.

You nod and say “That's right.” and, hey, your voice didn't waver at all!

“Is it because you're our aunt?” Dave asks, before seemingly realizing he said something he shouldn't and looking at Rose and Roxy. Luckily Roxy intervins before you have to.

“It's fine, we already know.” She says, smiling. “Mom talked with us about her idea beforehand and told us the whole already family thing too.”

“...Oh” Dave looks between Roxy and Rose before falling silent.

“I would want to give a family to any kid without someone to take care of them, but... I have to admit I'm not indifferent about the fact you're my nephews” you answer.

“...Jake and Jade don't have any guardian.” Dirk points out as soon as you finish your sentence, almost as if it's an accusation. Oh man he hates you, he hates you, there's no other reason for him being so antagonistic, he doesn't trust you and he's angry for that time you drew on his face and he hated your offer and he hates you.

“That's true.” You say and wow, you are really good at acting calm when you need to, aren't you? It surprises yourself sometimes “When their grandparents died I offered them the same thing, and after that Mr. Egbert also did the same, but they refused both times.”

Dirk nods slowly, processing the information. Then, addressing your daughters “And both of you are ok with it?”

Rose nods and finally joins too “Our mother wouldn't offer you this if she hadn't asked us first. Both of us are ok with the idea of becoming siblings.” She says it calmly and controlled, but there's a little smile on her face. Roxy nods energetically. Good, so all possible misunderstandings are cleared up, right? Good.

“Of course, at the end it's all up to you.” You start to say, already bracing yourself for the rejection. God, this will hurt more than when Jade and Jake said no, won't it? “We will be ok with whatever you decide.”

Dirk falls silent after that and even though  you can't read his face you know he's making all sort of calculations of pros and cons.

Oh God he hates you so much, he's going to reject you so hard, of course he will! He has seen what a horrible mother you're for your daughters! Who would want to have you as a mom?! Why are you like this, why are you so bad at this wh-

“I think I would like it.” Dave says, suddenly. It comes out as a whisper, and if the room wasn't dead silent you doubt you would have heard him. It feels as if someone had punched you on the stomach, but, in the good sense.

“Ah, I mean, ah…” he mumbles while looking around, apparently realizing now everyone is looking at him. His gaze seems to move between the other four of you, as if trying and failing to find a place where it doesn't have to come in contact with someone else's, before finally setting for the ground.

“I mean…” He continues after a while, and even though you can feel everyone's tension you all give him the time to say whatever it is he's about to.

“I mean… We like Rose and Roxy and, well, I don't know Roxana that much but, she's been nice so far, so, I don't know, forget it, I. I don't know. Forget I said anything, it's stupid.” Dave says, adding a shrug at the end in a way that makes it painfully obvious he's trying to be nonchalant but not quite succeeding.

You feel your heart plumping.

For a moment you actually thought he would accept, you should have known better, goddamn. You're about to tell them not to worry, that they can take the time to think about it, but then...

“You want to?” Dirk asks, talking to Dave, and even though it came as a question you think it was supposed to be a statement.

Dave looks at the floor with a blank expression before releasing a nervous laugh “I… Is it… Bad if I say yes?” He pointedly avoids looking at his brother while rubbing the back of his neck.

Dirk looks at him for a moment, then at Rose and Roxy, who both give him a sheepish smile, and then at you, who has been trying to wear a neutral expression all their time even though your chest feels as if it was about to explode. Then he turns towards Dave, placing one hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“...If you want to… I guess I'm fine with that too.”

Dave's eyebrows shoot up, and he seems like he's about to answer something but you just can't resist any longer just watching.

“Is that a yes?” You say, and for the first time on the conversation your voice wavers a little.

Both boys look at each other, and then, they turn and nod at you at the same time.

It's a yes.

It's nervous, and insecure, and weak, but it's still a yes. _It's a fucking yes._

Your face must be doing something funny, because both of them seem surprised and Dave's in the middle of saying “Are you ok?” before you interrupt him by lunging forward and hugging both of them.

You bring them against your chest, rest your head between both of theirs, and then proceed to cover your precious, wonderful new sons on tears and snout, all of this while wailing like a wounded seal the whole time.

 

The next hours pass warped in a kind of comfortable buzz. After you somehow unglue yourself from the kids you all end just… Talking.

Roxy is the one who starts it, once everything is said and done and you stopped the leaks on your face, with a “Oh man, now that we're siblings I'm so embarrassed I used to have a crush on you, Dirk”

Then Rose pokes fun at that with some comment about Freud, and somehow it ends turning into an actual conversation that who knows how goes towards your interests and then wizards.

Because all the Lalondes are here. So _of course_ it ends being about wizards.

“What's Harry Potter?” you hear Dave saying after some sentences about the movies have been exchanged, and you just know what you'll be doing for the next two hours or so.

 

“All I'm saying is, why does everyone even carry their stuff? Couldn't everyone just winwardium leviosar all their books and save the effort?”  You hear Dave ask at some point near the end of the movie. And before you can think of a reply Dirk deadpans.

“It’s leviosa, not leviosar.”

Roxy laughs loudly at that, and Rose covers her mouth and lets out a very little and proper chuckle. You just smile.

You had been worried they might not like the series, you don't know what you would do if they didn't like it. But, even if Dave makes fun of it from time to time and _constantly (Dear God, Constantly)_ talks over it, you know he's paying attention because he remembers the names of the characters and he's even able to call out “How did they know Snape was protecting the rock?” once that plot point pops up.

With Dirk you weren't so sure, he's mostly silent watching the movie, except for when someone prompts him to talk, and you were worried he might be bored, but now you're sure both of them are enjoying it.

_You've got them hooked_

The movie eventually reaches its conclusion, Voldemort is defeated and Dumbledore does his bullcrap favoritism thing with the points. The final of the credits is punctuated by Dave's voice proclaiming

“Dirk, you would be in Slytherin”

“What? No.”

“Join us, Dirk.” Rose says, and from there you all end discussing your houses. At the end the final result is Dirk in Ravenclaw and Dave, reluctantly, joining you in Hufflepuff, even if Roxy insisted on him going to Gryffindor with her.

You all talk, and laugh, and all the time you're side eyeing the DVD in your hand, the second movie, debating whether or not to put it on, after all, dinner should be starting by now, but also, you aren't sure if you're gonna have the luxury to just chill with your kids soon enough.

Today you have been really irresponsible already, postposing work in order to take care of personal stuff, stealing stuff from the kitchen (Well, that was Egbert's doing, but it _is_ your job to tell him not to do that), and waking up some hours earlier to work doesn't qualify as a good excuse, so maybe you should finish what you started and watch one more movie before guilt starts to set in. So at the end you lean forward and insert the disc.

“Hey, having fun?” You hear Egbert say around the time Ron's rescuing Harry. You are getting ready to apologise for making your kids skip dinner (Bad mother, that's what bad mothers do. _Shut up Roxana, after all that's been going on you deserve to chill for once._ ) before you turn towards him and see Egbert at the door, holding a tray with plates of food.

He quietly handles the kids their dinner, making sure not to disturb enough that you gotta pause the movie, and they murmur a little “Thank you, Mr. Egbert”. _Mr. Egbert_ , God, that sounds so much like and old dude's name, God, he has almost your same age! you two are so damn old, dear lord.

He then comes to you and gives you your ration, smiling knowingly. You say softly “Old Egbert's chivalry attacks again, huh?” Causing him to smile wider.

“Parents have to support each other, don't you think?” He says, smirking in a way that says he would tell a mildly inappropriate joke if you weren't with your kids.

Ahhhhh you want to joke around and tease him, but you aren't supposed to do that if you aren't alone, or at least not to go that hard.

So instead you wink at him and turn your attention back to the flying car on the screen as Egbert leaves.

Once the movie ends you send everyone to sleep, but not before you ruffle your daughters’ hair. Roxy happily accepts you destroying her hair, while Rose swaps your hand away as soon you even touch it.

Then you turn towards the other two and hold your hands up, silently asking permission. You move both hands slowly towards each of their heads, in a way they can avoid it if they want, and when they don't stop you, you place your hands on their heads, not really messing with their hair, just sort of resting them there for a moment. And even though both of them tense a little they don't seem to hate it.

That's good… You really, really want to warm them up to be touched, in part because you love them and want them to get over the traumas they no doubt have, in part because you just want to completely mess up Dirk's spiky hair.

 

“Hey, uh.” Dave calls you front the door after all his siblings have left, seemingly having debated whether to leave too or to stay and tell you whatever he's about to for a good 5 minutes.

“Yes?” You answer. He scratches the back of his neck and seems to look for the right words.

“So… Miss, I mean, Mom? I have a question.” He finally settles on, and hearing him call you ‘mom’ does something weird to your stomach, a feeling you hadn't felt since Rose and Roxy stopped calling you ‘mommy’.

You weren't even expecting for any of the Strider kids (Wait, are they Lalonde now? How did lastnames and adoption work again?) to actually call you mom, you were more than happy when earlier Dirk tried and failed to call you Roxa ("So. Hey, Roxaaaaaaaaaaaaa… Na… So what's your, uh, Howard's house?”) You weren't expecting any of them to warm up to the idea of you being their mother that fast, or, at all.

God you want to hug him.

Instead you just answer “Yes? What's it, Dave?”

“So, you, know what everyone's pesterchum is, right?”

You nod.

“Ok, there's this guy I have been talking for a while with and he won't tell me his name, so I thought you might be able to tell me who it is?”

“Sure. I see no problem with that, so, what's this person's handle?”  
  


\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] began pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 9:01pm ---

NS: Ok, sooooooo

NS: Dave sort of asked me who you are today.

CG: FUCK.

CG: I FUCKING TOLD HIM NOT TO LOOK UP WHO I AM!!

NS: I didn't know you two were talking?

NS: I mean obviously I knew you asked him to stop me when I tried to go for a walk.

CG: I THINK YOU MEAN “WHEN I TRIED TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF LIKE A RETARDED LEMMING”

NS: :(

NS: Anyway. Going back to the topic at hand.

NS: I didn't know you two were talking?

NS: It doesn't surprise me from him to try to reach  you again, oh misterios all powerful ghost embedded in the network, but l would expect you to mostly ignore him, is all I'm sayin.

CG: IF I IGNORE HIM HE STARTS TO FILL THE CHAT WITH ULTERLY NONSENSE!

CG: I CAN SMELL HIS BULLSHIT FROM A MILE AWAY, I CAN FUCKING *FEEL* THE FLIES CRAWLING ON MY FACE, SMEARING THE SHIT WITH THEIR DIRTY INSECT LEGS ALL OVER MY HULL.

CG: IT JUST KEEPS PILING UP AND UP, AND WHEN YOU FUCKING THINK HE'S FINALLY OVER HE JUST STARTS TO ADD MORE CRAP TO THE MOUNTAIN OF EXCREMENT!!!

CG: AT LEAST THIS WAY I CAN EDUCATE HIM ON HOW PATHETIC HE'S BEING.

NS: Sureeeeeeeeeeee

NS: You could block him?

CG: I HAVE. BUT SINCE I MONITOR LITERALLY *EVERYTHING* IN THAT FUCKING BUNKER I CAN'T EXACTLY IGNORE ALL HE SAYS.

CG: IT MUTES THE SOUND A LITTLE, BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT.

NS: Sounds tough. Like dealing with Navi.

NS: Oh shit, I should change pesterchum's notification sound for Navi's 'hey’ next April fools. I just thought about it, what an amazing joke.

CG: I'M LOOKING AT THAT FUCKING MESSAGE. THAT STUPID VIDEO GAME METAPHOR, I'M LOOKING AT IT IN MY MIND'S EYE, AND I'M MENTALLY GLARING.

CG: I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE MY FACE, IF I HAD ONE, I WANT YOU TO FUCKING PICTURE ME, LOWERING MYSELF ENOUGH TO SPEAK TO A LOWLY HUMAN ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, THEN GETTING DISMISSED AND INSULTED THIS WAY, DIRECTLY INTO MY BRAIN, NOT EVEN MY MIND IS FUCKING SACRED ANYMORE!!

CG: MY IMAGINARY FACE IS GLARING AT IT! I SWEAR, MY FACIAL MUSCLES ARE WORKING SO STRONGLY IN ORDER TO SHOW MY HATE THAT IF I HAD AN ACTUAL FACE IT WOULD SPLIT IN HALF! IT WOULD FUCKING FALL INTO ITSELF AND BECOME A BLACK HOLE OF PURE ANNOYANCE!

CG: I'M FUCKING SERIOUS, ROXANA!

NS: Wow. Usually no one gets the reference when I talk about stuff that doesn't exist anymore.

NS: Nice!

CG: I'VE GOT 2/3 OF THE WHOLE INTERNET INTO MY FUCKING HEAD, DON'T YOU DARE TO COMPARE ME WITH ONE OF YOUR DUMB MOLE PEOPLE!

NS: I'm jealous now. You could share a little, you know? I never got to watch lord of the rings before the world went to hell, did you get it in there?

CG: YES, I HAVE YOUR STUPID MOVIES ABOUT SOME LITTLE MEN TAKING A TRIP TO A MOUNTAIN. MAYBE LATER YOU CAN CONVINCE ME TO SHARE IT WITH YOU, AS ONCE AGAIN A PROOF OF MY INFINITE BENEVOLENCE TOWARDS THE UGLY BIOLOGICAL BEINGS.

CG: BUT RIGHT NOW CAN WE PLEASE, *PLEASE* GO BACK TO DISCUSSING MY PROBLEM WITH THE RED TEXT CRAP SHITTING MORON SHADE-EYES?!

NS: Hey now, that's my kid you're talking about there sir, or am I gonna be obligated to give you a shovel talk hmmm?

NS: I think.

NS: I'm actually not entirely sure what a shovel talk is.

NS: But if I remember right it had something to do with punching someone over being mean to your son.

CG: SHIT.

CG: DID YOU FINALLY ASK THEM?!

NS: I thought you knew everything, oh God and protector of the underground people.

CG: I SAW YOU TALKING WITH THEM BEFORE BREAKING YOUR PERPETUAL BLANK BITCH FACE AND CRYING YOUR EYES OUT ON THE CAMERAS, BUT I DIDN'T THINK THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!

CG: I CAN'T KNOW SOMETHING UNLESS THE CAMERAS SEE IT OR I READ IT ON PESTERCHUM, YOU FUCKING KNOW IT! IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING HELP WHY DON'T YOU GET OVER YOUR IRRATIONAL MICROPHONEPHOBIA?!

CG: ALSO A SHOVEL TALK IS WHEN YOU TELL YOUR KID'S MATE YOU GOT A GUN WITH A MILDLY INTIMIDATING TONE OF VOICE, MORON.

NS: Oh no, I can't believe I've been acting microphonephobic, how awful from me!

NS: Don't worry Karkat, I will leave all my other functions immediately in order to get you your precious microphs, as that's the will of our Lord And Savior Lord Machine!

NS: Fuck you, man.

NS: Thanks for the clarification tho.

CG: YOUR SARCASM ISN'T APPRECIATED, SO FUCK YOU TOO! AT LEAST ON THAT WE CAN AGREE!

CG: ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS A KARKAT?!

NS: Well :)

NS: You.

NS: You're a Karkat. ;)

CG: WHAT

NS: See, as I was saying, Dave asked me who you are.

NS: And I can't go around telling people there's a motherfucking hunting dog watching over us lol

NS: But I can't just point at someone and say “Sure Dave, that dude is the grey text man”

NS: So the story I made up is that you're a kind of spy or something.

NS: Someone who lives outside and feeds me data, which is kind of true? ÔwÔ

CG: I APPRECIATE THE ALIBI. HOWEVER, COULDN'T YOU FUCKING ASK ME FIRST?!

NS: Well if SOMEONE had told me beforehand he was talking with my son, he would have been able to help with the story

NS: And we could have planned it instead of me needing to invent something on the fly >:(

NS: Stop being so damn petty for a second, can you?

CG: I WILL BE AS PETTY AS I WANT! WHO ARE YOU TO ORDER ME ANYTHING?!

NS: Right.

NS: So when he asked the name I told him you're Karkat.

CG: WHAT KIND OF NAME IS KARKAT?! A CAR WITH THE SHAPE OF A CAT?!

CG: AND WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYONE TO GIVE *ME* A NAME?!

CG: WHAT THE FUCK, ROXANA?!

NS: Hey, I have been thinking about a name for you for a while now and Karkat is my favorite out of all the ones I came up with. >:/

NS: Or do you wanna be called Mr. Crabby Robo Man?

CG: NO

NS: So be grateful for once, you ungrateful damn pile of salty metal.

NS: Besides, it's not like you had one before, so isn't it better than nothing, Karkat? ;)

\--- neuroendocrineScape [NS] ceased pestering carcinoGenesist [CG] at 9:34pm ---

CG: I'M NOT DONE TALKING!

neuroendocrineScape [NS] is now an idle chum!

CG: DON'T YOU DARE TO IGNORE ME, MONKEY WOMAN!!

You put your handheld device in your pocket. It vibrates inside of it as Karkat keeps sending you messages, but you ignore it and walk towards your room.

Before passing through your room's door though, you turn towards the closest security camera, and looking at it right on the lense you give Karkat a big shit eating smile while making peace signs with both hands.  
  


 

You wake up in the middle of the night covered in cold sweat at a sobering realization.

How did Egbert know you were awake and working early?! The control room isn't close enough to the kitchen or to his room for it to be a coincidence!

Oh shit, was Egbert _looking_ for you?! Does he know you've been having problems to sleep lately?! Oh shit, was that what he meant when he said you deserve a piece of cake?!

You imagine Egbert separating a piece of cake, and then looking around the place to find you, looking _specifically_ for you, maybe it's not even the first time he goes to see if you're awake early, yet he's totally the kind of person who would do that more than once until you do in fact appear there.

Doing all that just to hang out with you for a while, to make you feel better on his own way, and as you imagine that you can feel your cheeks heating up.

You press your face against the blanket and bring your knees against your ears.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to build up Roxana through the first chapters as this adult who everyone trusts and respects, sort of a grounding presence, I guess, so when we got to a chapter from her POV we could contrast that with the fact her narration is such a fucking mess. I don't think I quite succeeded on that, but I still like how the story's going so far. 
> 
> Anyway, hope everyone's having a great 413!!! Don't forget to comment!!! ✨💕✨💕✨💕


	7. Malleus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The malleus or hammer is a hammer-shaped small bone or ossicle of the middle ear which connects with the incus and is attached to the inner surface of the eardrum. The word is Latin for hammer or mallet. It transmits the sound vibrations from the eardrum to the incus._   
>  **-Wikipedia**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, 10 days late. Here it is. Guys I'm sorry it took so long I would promise it won't happen again but that would be a filthy lie. 😔

You officially don't know anything about plants. Not that there was any doubt before, but now you can point at this experience and say 'see, look, I don't know shit about plants.’ 

“You officially don't know anything about plants.” Jade agrees with your internal monologue right before bending down to look at the damage. She holds the patch of brown stems between her fingers and frowns. “At all. Seriously Dave, how did you even manage to fuck up so badly?”  

It took you like a week or two after coming to SBURB for your injuries to heal completely, yet you couldn't help with anything because everyone wanted to wait till Dirk was fine too, which is kind of stupid, but you won't complain about the extra vacation.

Well. It's been two days since Dirk finally got the all-right, and your mom (It feels weird that it  _ doesn't _ feel weird to say it.) decided you two can finally start working at something. Dirk, obviously, got to work with Roxy at mechanical stuff. It's not a surprise really, he was helping her with that shit even before his arm was fine. You on the other hand….

“Guess that's another one out. The Dave work train got to move to the next station. Time to fuck someone else's job shoo shoo.” 

“Oh, don't say that.” Jade replies, her face showing that genuine concern you still aren't used to. That one you still aren't sure what to do with. “You will find your place eventually, I'm sure of that!... Want to try with feeding the rabbits?”

“Uuuuuuuuuh… I'm pretty sure the only interactions I've had with animals were to hunt them.” 

“Don't say no until you try it!” 

Somehow Jade convinces you to feed the rabbits, and at the end, even though you don't kill any defenseless mini caddle, one bites you. So probably the huge tanning cabin isn't for you. 

 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:11pm ---

CG: WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO TO THAT ANIMAL? I'VE NEVER SEEN THE FLUFF RATS BITE ANYONE.

TG: oh hi mr spy 

TG: have i mentioned how fucking creepy it is to know were watched 24/7 

CG: LIKE YOUR MOM DIDN'T ALSO WATCH THROUGH THE SECURITY CAMERAS.

TG: oh great thats even worse

TG: just sayin

TG: its like any time i go to the bathroom a psycho is gonna move the courtains and the cameras gonna focus on a vaguely blood like shit going down the drain 

CG: THE BATHROOMS DON'T HAVE CAMERAS, NOR CURTAINS.

TG: no see its a reference to an old movie 

TG: damn i guess you havent seen it right

TG: still not used to this place having a totally different chunk of pop culture than the one i know

TG: just the other day john was talking about disappearing when a guy snapped or something

TG: and anyway bottom line is now were watching superhero stuff on movie nights

CG: I KNOW PSYCHO, I JUST THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.

TG: wow rude

TG: teacher karkat hurt my feelings 

TG: pulling from my piggytails and shit

CG: WHEREVER THAT METAPHOR IS GOING, STOP THAT HORRIBLE DIATRIBE RIGHT THERE!

TG: Awww no dude i know you love my diatribes comon

CG: BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC.

CG: ARE YOU OK? FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT THAT THING WAS GOING TO RIP YOUR HAND OFF!

TG: oh yeah totally 

TG: fresh like an avocado 

CG: THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HOLDING YOUR HAND LIKE IT'S GOING TO BLEED OUT THE MOMENT YOU STOP?

 

Right, big brother's always watching, fucking great. You look around, trying to find the nearest security camera, and then flip it off. 

 

CG: REALLY MATURE! WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?!

TG: of course im five 

TG: why would i be in the school crying to the teacher about my piggytails otherwise 

CG: JESUS CHRIST I FUCKING HATE YOU. 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] stopped contacting turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:18pm ---

 

“Based on how you just passed without even noticing my presence I take you're either talking with someone or the visibility under your shades is worse than I originally thought.” 

“Oh, hi Rose.” 

You close the pesterchum window and look at your sister, standing at the door of what you  _ think  _ is the archives room, with a hand on her hips. 

“How did things go with Jade?” 

“Like a hammer in a hourglass factory.”

“So an unmitigated disaster then.” Rose smiles, and walks towards you. “I gather she saved the garden before our food supply was completely eradicated?” 

“Nope, complete ruin, we have 3 months before we start eating eachother.” You answer with a shrug and she rolls her eyes.

“So now that the gardening gig is over I suppose you came here to mess up my job next?” 

“Yes sir.” You do a mock salute. “Glad to burn the archives down with you.” 

“Of course.” She shakes her head, still sporting that small smug expression you've come to associate as Rose's equivalent of a full on grin. Walking inside the room, she gestures for you to follow her. “Just don't touch anything without previous instruction and maybe I won't have to strangle you with my own shoelaces.”’

“Yes sir!” 

Rose's job is… Pretty boring. Although it might feel like that because you've absolutely _no_ _idea_ what you're supposed to do. Rose says move this here and you move that there, she says open this and you open that, she says give me these and you give her those, etc, Rose doesn't even stop to explain the system she's using to file everything or how her work relates to the other works or how to know when to write something down and when to put it in the computer. She's the worst teacher ever and you aren't sure if it's on purpose or if she's really that bad. So at some point you end sitting on a desk and doodling shapes on a piece of paper while she does God knows what.

“Hmm… You can draw when you put some effort into it.” Your immediate reaction is to cover the drawing with your left hand, like a frog that just got picked by an ankle, before turning towards Rose, who's standing behind you.

“Of course I can, don't you know I'm talented at everything?” The look she gives you says she's unimpressed. 

“Given the fact I've only seen you making sbahj? I assumed you just didn't know how to.” 

"Irony is the highest form of art. Ya know, how Picasso had to master unironical painting to start making irony? Like that." 

"An interesting viewpoint, I suppose." She moves to take your hand away from the drawing and stares at it. "You know, since a while back our dear leader has been running a renovation project, commencing at the lower floors and moving up. Tomorrow it will continue with a mural at the nursery room."

"We have a nursery?"

She sighs. "Although currently in desuse, yes Dave, we have a nursery." 

"Oh. Cool."

"I'm actually inscribed into the remodeling efforts, and I must admit, it's quite enjoyable. Why don't you participate? You can count it as one of those family bonding activities our mother is so enthralled forcing onto us." 

"Ehhh." You lean into your seat and move your hand to cover the paper again, casually, like you don't care about people watching while you draw. The way Rose raises an eyebrow tells you you failed.

"Avoiding tasks that demand certain level of effort is a symptom of impostor syndrome." She says. Like that means anything.

"I've literally no idea what you just said." Rose rolls her eyes.

"It means you try to stick to your insincere show of irony in order to avoid any possible criticism around the skills you actually want to hone." 

"Hey, now." You put a hand on top of your heart and dramatically throw your head back. "Irony is a fine art, I can't believe you would insult me like this, Lalonde." 

"Of course, how could I've possibly forgotten what the peak of civilization you call irony entails." She sighs and throws her own head back, almost as dramatically as you just did. Then moves to leave the stack of papers she's carrying in one of the boxes next to the wall. "I think that would be all the help I need for today. Feel free to come visit in the future, I very much enjoy the company, Lalonde."

Recognizing that as a dismissal, you stand up and move towards the door. "Me and Dirk still haven't agreed to the last name change, you know?"

You're able to hear a "Your register in the database begs to disagree." Before closing the door behind you. 

 

\--- carcinoGenesist [CG] began contacting turntechGodhead [TG] at 5:35pm ---

CG: I'M GOING TO TAKE A WILD GUESS AND ASSUME WORKING WITH ROSE ALSO DIDN'T WORK OUT. 

TG: what can i say im too rad for paper work 

CG: RIGHT. 

 

You start moving towards the control room, the map at s corner of your vision leading the way. It's not like you need it, not really, you made sure to memorize the upper plants in your first weeks here, but it's still good to have a view of the entire thing in case you get lost or have to go to a section you aren't that familiar with yet. Like a lame security blanket, you suppose.

 

TG: did you know roses painting a mural at the nursery room

CG: NO. OF COURSE I DIDN'T. I HAVE COMPLETE ACCESS TO THE SECURITY SYSTEM BUT I STILL COMPLETELY MISSED THE FUCKING 4M HIGH, 8M LONG PAINTING AT THE NURSERY ROOM!

TG: ok fine i get it 

TG: stupid question 

CG: WHY DO YOU ASK?

TG: just making conversation you know 

TG: cant a guy just have a talk with his disembodied shady spy friend 

CG: DID ROSE ASK YOU TO JOIN WITH IT?

TG: yup

TG: howd you know i thought you didnt have microphones

CG: SHE'S BEEN DOING THAT A LOT.

CG: SHE TRIES TO PLAY IT COOL BUT SHE'S REALLY INVESTED INTO IT. HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET CONVERTS INTO PAINTING THE WALLS FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW.

TG: wait really

TG: well now im hurt and to think i thought what we had was something special 

TG: but no i was just another nightstand 

TG: i thought we had something special

TG: like a brush needs its paint

TG: but at the end girls are just looking for sharpeners for their pencils 

CG: PLEASE STOP INSINUATING YOU WANT TO FUCK YOUR COUSIN. 

TG: jesus what the hell dude

TG: gross

TG: please never give me that mental image again fucking disgusting

CG: YOU STARTED! 

TG: also she isnt my cousin shes my sister

CG: ANYWAY. ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN THE STUPID MURAL CULT? 

TG: nah 

CG: HUH

TG: what

CG: I ASSUMED YOU WOULD JUMP STRAIGHT TO THE OFFER, WITH HOW MUCH YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT A FUCKING ARTISTIC GENIUS YOUR PEANUT SIZED BRAIN SEEMS TO THINK YOU ARE.

CG: I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT TO SHOW OFF!

TG: hey im a goddamn modern day davinci and you know it 

TG: but no painting a nursery is not really my thing 

TG: as much as i know future babies would appreciate my amazing lessons in irony i bet they already got a design in mind

TG: with like butterflies and flowers and shit 

TG: not really the strider style 

CG: YOU DO REALIZE EVERYONE'S BEEN CALLING YOU LALONDE FOR A MONTH NOW, RIGHT?

TG: yeah

TG: against my will

CG: BUT YES, I GUESS I SEE YOUR POINT. THEY'RE PAINTING A CREEPY WIZARD SHOOTING A SHITTY RAINBOW FROM A STICK. 

CG: CAN'T SEE IT AS YOUR, AS YOU USUALLY PUT IT, "AESTHETIC"

TG: of fucking course its a wizard 

TG: its always wizards with this family

CG: WEREN'T YOU WALKING TOWARDS THE CONTROL ROOM? 

TG: yep

TG: what about it 

CG: YOU JUST WALKED PASS THE DOOR LIKE A FUCKING MORON!

TG: goddamnit

 

"Hi mom." You stick your head inside the room. Your mother's sitting at one of the computers, looking at something that looks way too complex for you to care. She looks at you and the corners of her mouth move slightly in that way you're pretty sure is her full on grin. 

"Hey, Dave. What's up?"

"I just finished helping Jade and Rose, I was wondering if you had any more people who needed help at making their job harder." 

"Hmmmm… Let me see." She opens a drawer and fishes out a stack of paper. Ruffles through it faster than a normal person should be able to and puts it back where she found it. "I think that would be everything for today. Tomorrow you could help Mr. White with cleaning duty."

"Oh joy."

"It's an important job!... It's almost time for dinner anyway. So you can take it easy for today." She shrugs and goes back to type something into the keyboard… You suppose mom's skipping dinner today. Again. She's been doing that a lot lately.

"Sure. Thanks Mom." You wave before disappearing back into the hallway.

 

You spend dinner as usual, talking with your friends and asking Dirk about his new job. Then Roxy complains because she won't have help maintaining on of the generators, because mom prohibited Dirk from helping with anything at the lowest plant, something about still recovering or something and the staircase being hard to take. 

"I mean, I can do it alone but carrying all my tools is such a bother when you're gonna enter the power room. They just weight a bunch, you know? Wish I could divide the charge." 

"I can help." You offer without really thinking. "I've got nothing else to do and I've been completely ok for a while now."

"Ehhhh, I don't know if it's such a good idea."

"Come on. I promise I won't touch anything important, just help you carry your stuff."

"Hmm… Oh, whatever, sure! It will be a big sister little brother thing!"

And so half an hour later you find yourself carrying a backpack with half (most) of Roxy's tools, staring at a dark bottomless hole.

"Is this…?"

You open the map again. Just as five minutes prior, the floor you're at the moment is marked as the lowest one.

Well, you suppose it's not that weird for restricted areas not to appear on the map. Goodbye security blanket, it was good having you while it lasted.

"Yup. The path to the power room, it's just 35 meters." Roxy says.

"...Isn't that higher than a six stores building?" 

"Mhmm." She gives you an affirmative nod, and without further ado starts going down the ladder and into the void.

You sigh. No turning back now, and start climbing down. 

"Ah. Dave!" Roxy calls when you're one meter inside the hole. "Don't forget to close the scuttle after you enter!"

"... Wouldn't that leave us completely in the dark?"

"So pretty much exactly the same as you with your shadows, huh?" She laughs at her own joke. "Don't worry man, no one's ever fallen from here. All the rungs are at the same distance, it becomes pretty automatic once you get used to it."

"...Sure." you move to lock behind you, and everything gets dark. Totally, pitch black dark.

You take a deep breath and start climbing down, keeping your body as close to the wall as possible and pointedly ignoring how your palms start to sweat, or the tickling sensation on your fingers like you're going to slip and break your goddamn head. 

It does become a bit automatic after a while, even with the weight on your back pulling you down or your grip on the rungs being a bit harder than necessary, you still get a hang of it and start moving at a speed that's slightly faster than a turtle. When you move your left foot one step below and find yourself stepping on empty air you quickly press yourself against the wall, going so far as to hooking your entire arm around the staircase with an unflattering screech. 

"Aw. Shit." You hear Roxy say. "I completely forgot to warm you, didn't I? Step number 132 is missing, sorry."

"It's fine." You answer even as your heart tries to jump out of your chest.

By the time you finally touch solid ground you would have kissed the floor if it wasn't because of the warm water that comes to your knee. 

"There we go." Roxy mutters, there's a rusting sound and then you have to close your eyes when a light hits you right on the face. "There should be another flashlight in your bag." 

You fish it out, as soon as she stops pointing the light at you, and then both of you go through a narrow hallway that opens into the power room.

She starts moving some levers on the wall and a small lightbulb on top of the room goes on. Not giving the best illumination, but just enough. "Ready for giving these bad boys some maintenance?" Roxy asks you, and before you can answer puts her flashlight in her mouth, walks towards one of the ten big machines scattered around the room, and after putting her backpack on top of it unscrews a lid at the side and promptly crawls inside, only her ankles sticking out. 

"What should I do, exactly?" You ask, resting your weight on the machine. Then retreating when you feel how it's trembling. 

"Just pass me my tools when I ask you to and make some conversation, yeah?"

"Hm… Alright." You put your hands inside your pockets. "Feels a bit useless."

"Of course not. Do you have any idea how boring doing this all alone is? You're helping a lot just standing there." 

"If you say so." You try to think of a conversation topic. "So, yesterday I discovered no one here knows what dinosaurs looked like." 

"Aren't they just scally green reptiles?"

"No, see that's the thing-"

"Hand me the needle nose pliers. They're in the little pocket in my backpack." 

You reach for it, and using your own light to look for the tool you hand it to her. "-Everyone here only knows dinos from Jurassic Park but the real deal had feathers." 

"What? No way."

"No, really. They even say in the movie they were the ancestors of birds, is it really so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah. Feathers evolved so birds could fly, right?"

"Then explain why penguins have feathers."

"Penguins don't have feathers, I'm pretty sure they have fur."

"What? No they don't!"

"But anytime you see pictures of them they  _ look  _ like they are furry." 

"That's just because their feathers are different. But they're still feathers."

"Hmpf. Still not convinced."

"No, look. There are also ostriches. They obviously have feathers and still don't fly."

"What is an ostriche?"

".....You can't be serious." 

"What?"

_ "You can't be serious."  _

"What?!" 

"Ok, then dodos!" You groan. "They also had feathers and didn't fly!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Dave. Dodos aren't real."

"Well, no, because they're dead. Like dinosaurs." 

"No, because they never existed. Like unicorns."

"I'm pretty sure unicorns existed." She laughs at that and you frown. "What?"

"....Oh my God. You aren't joking." 

"What?! They did!"

"They didn't!" 

"Of course they did! I think they still exist actually, I've seen pictures of them."

"Pictures like cg? Or like drawings?"

"No, pictures-pictures. Picture photographs. Someone from where I came from even showed me a picture of one in a zoo. Hell, there even were some in the lion king."

"Sure." She snorts. 

"It's true! They're gray and really fat with a horn on their nose."

"... Dave… Aren't you talking about a rhino?"

"A what?"

"You know. Like in that Spiderman Cartoon. The rhino, it's an animal, it's fat and looks like a hippo with a horn."

"I don't know, he said it was an unicorn."

"Well, he lied to you."

"Then what's an unicorn?"

"It's a horse with a horn. Like, a literal horse with a horn. And it didn't really- Hand me my screwdriver."

"So, like the purple one in my little pony?" You hand her the tool and receive the one she isn't using anymore.

"Yep, exactly the same."

"Hm… Well, now I feel lied to."

"Like how they lied to you about dinosaurs."

"Hey. No. I'm right with the feathers thing. I like to learn about dead animals, I  _ know  _ they had feathers. I'm as sure as I'm sure the sky is blue. Not that anyone from this underground bunker would know that."

"Tell you what? We'll ask some adult after we finish this." 

"Hm. Fair." 

You keep chatting that way as Roxy finishes whatever she's doing, and then moves to the next generator, and then the next, and the next one after that. By the time you reach the last one you've burned through all your conversation topics and you scratch your head trying to come up with anything else.

"So today Rose asked me to help with painting the nursery." You say, your neck twisting up, as Roxy lies on top of the last machine, tinkering with something there.

"Just now? I assumed she would have asked by last month."

"Nope, just now. She saw me drawing and told me about it." 

"So are you going to help with it?"

"Nah. I like wizards as much as anyone but they aren't really my style."

"Huh. Odd."

"What?"

"Nothing, I just assumed you would jump at the chance."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? I appreciate how y'all want to experience my art so badly, but that pressure is really bad for the creative juices." 

"Sorry, sorry." She chuckles. "It just seemed like something you would want to do, with how you keep showing off your music and ironic comics." 

"That's different, that's ironic. I like irony, there's nothing more to it." You answer, only a little bit defensive.

"Mhm." Roxy hums, as if thinking of something. "Damn, she gave you the entire speech about posturing didn't she?" 

"Oh, did she?" You roll your eyes, kicking some water. "By the time I was leaving she had put on her therapist glasses and was dragging the long couch to ask me to lie down on."

"Ask you to lie down? Or strap you to it?"

"Oh yeah, that's much more Rose's style isn't it?" 

"Totally her style." 

"It's Dirk's style too, dragging you kicking and screaming." She snorts as you say that. 

"Must be a strilonde family trait." 

"Oh, absolutely. That would explain a few things."

"Although Dirk usually waits for you to fall into the trap, Rose's more the hunter kind of psychologist, picking up her weapon and war paint before following your tracks." 

"What? No way." You shake your head. "If someone's a hunter here that's Dirk, he's always ready, wandering through the cerebral forests looking for a prey, shitty sword in hand, ready to jump as soon as he picks movement between the bushes. Rose's also aggressive but she won't go out of her way to hunt you down, just digs pits with spikes all around the area and sits down to wait." 

"Really?" You think you see her shrug. "Hm, he definitely isn't like that with me, the only times he's tried to psychoanalyze me was when I made the mistake of putting some fresh bait for him to take, and even then I think it wasn't on purpose. Hell, I've had said some really juicy stuff without him mentioning anythin' about my issues. Rose's absolutely the superior hunter."

"See, now that's weird-"

"Hold my screwdriver." 

"-I usually can't have a single conversation with him without Dirk explaining something about my personality." You take the tool from her. As you do, you notice for the first time Roxy's missing a finger on her right hand... You suppose that's to be expected, if she's so used to hammering stuff in the dark like now. You might find it concerning if it wasn't because of Dirk joining her to help her in a week or so. Not to mention Roxy obviously knows what she's doing. But it's still good to know she will have help. 

"Hmmmmmm." She hums, and you two stop talking for a while. The sound of your foot kicking into the water and her hands as she works being the only thing you can hear. 

"But you know..." Roxy breaks the silence that just formed between the two of you. 

"What?"

“Rose has a point though. Are you sure you aren't just protecting yourself?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Without turning towards you, Roxy indicates for you to hand her the screwdriver back. You comply and she keeps working on the machine. “If you act like you don't care about anything you do, you can just dismiss criticism by saying  _ 'I wasn't trying my best’ _ or  _ ‘This isn't even all my potential!’ _ or even  _ 'no, see, it's just a silly thing I don't really give a shit about’ _ . I would know, I used to do it a lot. Like, a  _ lot _ , pretty much was someone else back then, you wouldn't believe it _. _ Still do a bit, but now less than before. I think everyone dismisses their own feelings to some extent, but I get the impression you do it more than most people.”

“I… Think you have been spending too much time with Dirk.”

“Gotcha ya’ pinned, didn't I?” 

“Not reall-”

“Pinned you down, broke your neck and threw your corpse out of the ring. Don't worry lil bro, just act like I didn't say a thing. I know how these soul searching things go.”

"Ugh. God it really must be something in our family." You groan. Stuffing your hands inside your pockets.

You wait for Roxy to keep talking, to keep poking, force the topic, but she just stays silent, and you keep the impression she would just go along with you if you started talking about something else.

You aren't… Exactly sure of why, but there's just something about your sister, in the way she doesn't press to get answers, or how sharing silences with her isn't as nerve wracking as it normally is with other people. It just makes it easier to talk, kind of makes you  _ want  _ to talk.

God, your entire cool guy aesthetics has been lying in ruins ever since you came to this place. What's breaking another piece?

"I know I'm good at drawing ok?" You half grumble half mutter. The way Roxy's hands stop moving, the sound of screwing fading away, being the only thing that tells you she's listening. "Like, I know how good and how bad I am, I'm not afraid of critics. I eat critics for breakfast... It's just the place where I came from didn't really appreciate arts and crafts, you know?" 

"I'm listening." 

"So like, it's fine if it's ironic, but you couldn't go drawing birds and flowers and shit because arty stuff is for sissies." 

"Hm. So now it freaks you out when other people are peeking over your shoulder when you're making stuff. Am I getting it right?" 

"It probably sounds stupid." You shrug, not quite nonchalant. "I don't mind showing stuff to my friends, not really, but to draw something like a graffiti everyone's gonna see…"

"No, it doesn't sound stupid. I get it, it's like that for me too. I can't wear high heels without breaking into cold sweat." 

"Well you certainly shouldn't wear high heels." You point out. Not sure what heels have to do with anything. "If going up and down The Ladder Of The Death is part of your routine you would break a leg in record time." 

"Oh, it wasn't so bad!"

"No, of course it wasn't." You answer, your voice dripping sarcasm. "Not that it scared me or anything but you have to admit-"

"Dave, it's too late to act like The Ladder Of Death didn't scare you. I'm half worried you'll pass out on the way up."

"Ugh. There goes another piece of my aesthetic." You lament. 

She huffs and then sighs, her hands going back to work. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm not going to pass out. But I won't accompany you on your job ever again."

"No, I mean, the psychiatric posturing stuff."

"We're still talking about it? The train left that station five hours ago, it's so far away I can't even see the city, we're entering another continent as we speak." 

"Well, sadly for you the train's finished it's route and starting its daily cycle again, the station is approaching Dave, get ready with your ticket because we're about get down on this stop." 

"I think I would rather get down in another stop, this isn't my final destination and the train doesn't do stopovers." 

"Well, too bad, because your ticket is clearly marked as this being your stop. Please sir accompany me as I kick you out right into this station." She sighs. "Really, you should do something about it. It isn't going to go away if you just ignore it."

"Like what?"

"You could start helping at the nursery."

"...You." You frown at her as you have a sudden realization.  _ "You're into the painting cult too."  _

She twists her neck to grin at you, going so far as to pointing at herself with the flashlight, giving her appearance a slightly unnerving look.

"Ugh." You put your face between your hands and groan. "This was a trap."

"You betcha." 

"Ugh! All this time you were the real hunter weren't you?!" 

The laughing that echoes through the room is a good enough answer. 

 

"Might I ask what made you change your mind?" Rose asks, the serious look she's giving you completely ruined by the peak of pink paint on her cheek. 

"I dunno, just thought it would be fun after all." You answer, doing your best not to give her anything to hunt as you reach for the paintbrush. Next to you you can feel Roxy doing the same. 

"We ran out of purple painting." Roxy says, standing up with a bucket in each hand. "I'll be back with more." 

"Also red, we only have for a couple of lines more." You tell her. She nods at you as she moves towards the door, leaving you and Rose alone with the creepy unfinished wizard. 

"So about what gave you the push you needed to face your internalized self esteem problem." 

"Look, if you start spouting psychology shit I'm going to stand up and leave, and I know you don't want to lose any volunteers."

"...Tsk." 

Surprisingly, she does shut up. You suppose Rose was more into this thing that you initially thought, if a simple threat can get her from psychoanalyzing. You also keep your mouth shut, not wanting to force your luck, and you two continue working in silence. 

 

\-- carcinoGenecist [CG] sent turntechGodhead [TG] file "LOOKATTHISBULLSHIT.png" --

 

You open the file Karkat sent you. It's a picture of a tiny, fluffy and cute mouse holding a giant snake in its mouth. You're about to write something in response when Rose speaks up. 

"Who are you talking with?"

"I- What?" You turn towards her. Your ears feeling hot from being found out. "I'm not talking with anyone."

Rose raises an eyebrow. "Really? That's why you keep crashing against walls four times per day? I know you've been talking to someone, a lot, and I know you aren't talking with any in our friend group." She smirks. "I also know it's always the same person. You always have the exact same expression as of now when it happens." 

"I'm not talking with anyone."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Then what has you so distracted?"

"Oh, you know. Personal projects."

"Right."

"It's true." 

"You know if you don't tell me the next person to ask will be Dirk, right?"

You groan. "Ugh. You're the worst."

"So?"

"Fine." You sigh. "But promise you aren't telling anyone." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please remember to comment!


	8. F₡ake€ Rib∆s°

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The phr₡se true rib (Latin: cost¶e verae), or fixed rib, ref₲rs to the first seven, or vert✓brosternal, rib p°irs. The phra+e fal$e rib (Latin: cost@e spuriae), or vertebrocho?dral ribs refers to th£ eighth-to-twelf₱h pairs of ®ibs._   
>  **-W@kipe•ia**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Bonus update**
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: I think this chapter can be paranoia inducing, although I'm not 100% if that's the right warning. If someone knows the right trigger warning for this thing I would be grateful if you told me.
> 
> Full disclosure, this was originally gonna be a "normal" chapter posted the 14th but I've been debating this for a week or so now because it just didn't quite fit the "main storyline" so well. So at the end I decided it was better to leave it as a bonus chapter. 🤔
> 
> I know no one but me gives a fuck about bonus chapters and normal chapters and it's not like I myself even know how to stick to my update shedule but I have a _creative vision_ as fucking vain as that sounds so yeah, bonus chapter this is.🤷
> 
> I'm gonna try my best to get the next chapter all ready for the 14th🔥🔥🔥🔥 but because this was originally gonna be the chapter for August don't panic if I end posting the actual thing on 20th or even 27th of this month. 🤷Not gonna lie, real life's been real damn busy lately. 😩
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy. ❤️❤️❤️

You go to the second building's roof, just as Dirk told you. He said he wanted to discuss something, something important that no one else could hear. 

The last time he asked you to meet with him somewhere private it ended with half of his nails getting ripped off, so as your shoes echo against  the metal of the bridge that connects your dormitory (building #4) and the place he wanted you to go, you aren't exactly _thrilled._

“Oh, if it's no other than Strider Jr, what're you doing here?” You hear someone say and you freeze. Shit, you know that voice, that's Ana.

You lower your gaze as you turn around and look at her feet, she's wearing the green shoes she uses when she doesn't have to work, even though you perfectly know it's her shift. Which means y$u're _fucked_.

“I… Was going to go hang out with Dirk. It's my free day.” You say, just a tad defensive, and try to move away from her.

_Please be on a good mood today. Please let me go. Please let me go. Please-_

“Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?! I'm not done.”

Shit.

“Ah, sorry.” You say, turning towards her again, keeping your gaze pointedly low.

“So you said you were on your free day, Didn't ya?” 

You nod.

“Oh great!” She claps once. “So you wouldn't mind helping me today with my shift, right?” She says in a way that makes it clear this is not an actual question, but an order.

Welp. You hope whatever Dirk wanted to talk about wasn't too important.

“Sure… Just, let me go for my sword and-”

“You don't carry your sword with you?!” She exclaims, and you can see her smiling in the corner of your eye. Shit. You fucked up.

“My, my, Dave, I can't believe it! What w0uld our leader do if he knew Strider Jr isn't ready for an emergency?!”

You want to answer _‘I'm not in the attack team anyway.’_ But you know that would make her mad, so instead you just apologize while subcon�ciously your eyes move towards the bat she always carries. No, don't resist, that would be a really bad idea.

“Oh don't worry Dave, I will cover you, but you will have to cover my shift for the next week, how does that sound? Am I not the nicest person here?” Ana continues, placing her hand in your shoulder and digging her fingers into it, deep enough it seriously hurts.

“...Sure” you answer and, luckily, she leaves. Thanks God.

...Well, you better go for your sword now.

The surrounding area of the refuge is covered with wild plants and chunks of trash. For someone inexperienced it would look like there's no clear routes out there, but you can easily spot the subtle details that point out the way. Ana's shift was…mom, caliborn is being mean! Route C, right? Yeah, you're pretty sure it was C.

As you make your way through Ana's route you get scratched under the knee by the wildlife around, because you weren't supposed to work today and in your hassle to retrieve your weapon you ended forgetting to also put on your good jeans and your boots. At some point, a rabbit jumps in front of you and the surprise makes you fall on your ass. 

"Hi." You say to it, for some reason. The rabbit stops to stare at you roxa, can we talk? and then goes away jumping through the forest. You hang your head and sigh. "Fucking hell." 

You return to the base by the time the sun's just starting to go down. You go to take lunch, carrots and radishes salad today. You move to your table, trying not to get the attention of the higher ups as you walk past their table. They got wild raven meat, you notice.

As you eat your portion, Dirk isn't anywhere to be seen, but that isn't too odd. Once everyone finish you and other two little girls got the cleaning duty for the dishes today. You add the soap, one of them rinsed and the other one dries. Once it's all done you finally leave.

You go back to your room, t[]e one you share with Dirk. He isn't there either. You pass at least two hours doodling small stuff i like to draw too in a notepad before deciding to suck it up and go look for your brother. 

You return the notebook to its usual hiding spot, leave your sword and change your shoes to something more comfortable before leaving the room.

Dirk probably already left, it's late as fuck after all, but you end going to the agreed meeting point anyway, if only so you can tell him you tried. For your surprise, he's stbaby names, baby names, how aboUt dirk?ill there, his feet dangling from the rooftop as he sharpens his sword. Wordlessly, you move to sit next to him. 

"You're unbelievably late." He $Ays. When he i'm so sorry brother turns towards you you Ñotice how his gaze travels to your still scratched feet. "Ana a█ain?" 

You shrug and with as much sarcasm as possible say "No, I just felt like goYng for a walk. Duh" 

You're expecting the usual exasperated sigh, the long distrive about how people will stop picking on you if you stand for yourself. It doe#n't come. Instead, he just keeps staring at the horizon, his mouth shut.

"So… What did you want to talk about?" You venture. 

There's a moment in which you aren't sure if he didn't hear you, so warm and then he retrieves something from his pocket, an USB. "I found this."

"And that is…?"

"So you know how I've been allowed to _really_ poke into this place's network for a couple months now."

You nod. He's talking about his new role as mechanic. The base doesn't use much technology, mostly basic heaters and coolers. But it has a small public database anyone can access from the computers on building tenit's a fingers hUg! There's also another one, a more restricted section in the same building where actual important information is stored, you're guessing that's the one he's talking about. 

"∆o, what did you find?"

Pocketing the thing again he points towards something in the distance. "Past three cities in that direction, there's another group of survivors." He smiles. "And I got the access codes to get us in."

Oh.

Not this _bullshit_ again. 

You sink your face in your hands and groan. "You can't be for real." 

"We could-"

"No!" You stand up.i foUnd these m&m, do yoU want to share? "Can't you just avoid doing things that will get you killed?! Do you just have the need to die?!" 

"You know we can't-"

"Stop! Why do you ha█e to drag it's simple, really me into these things?!"

"Dave, you know we cdiego? what are yoU doing?an't stay here forever." He stands up too. "Soonπr or later one of us is going to die. We need to leave."

"Stop saying that!" You sigh and scrub y�ur face. i like this place Then count to ten. "If we end dying it'll be because you can't follow the fucking rules." 

"You really think that?" He raisesare yoU hUrt?!one eyebrow. "You seriously, truly, honestly think if we just keep quiet 7nd-"

"Please shut up." 

"-Work as their little obedient pets we won't end-"

"$h√t �•"

"-Getting thrown as dog bait as s�on as The█e's the tin+est just╥яication-"

"Shut up!" You shout, and let me go! start walking @way. "You are not dragging me into this!" 

"Dave."

"Go away!"

"Dav$."

"St4p follo=ing m¿!"

"Dave…"

"%h/have yoU ever thoUght aboUt what yoU want?t up¡" 

You feel more than hear the way he sighs. And then walks away. You t�ke deep breaths and try to calm down. 

You don't see Dirk until it's time for dinner. He sits on your usual table, and you stubbornly sit at the other end of the r=om. Neither of you say i promise i'll come back anything as you eat, and you ?ssume it will be the same bUt it's nothing to be ashamed ofwhen you have to go to sl•ep. You're standing up to move your finished plate when someone speaks behind you.

"Dave. Come with me for a m>ment." 

You freeze. Sl<wly, you turn towards the source of tha� voice. _Bro's voice._ He staXds there, the black shadows staring ri_ht at you, not past you, _at you._ It makes your blood freeze.

"Of course." You say. B•o doesn't say anything else, stUpid striders just starts to wa°k, and you follow, pe¡ple parting li]e the red sea letting you pass.

As you leave, you c¶tch Dirk's face, staring from the other side of the ro=m. He looks about three shades paler, and you can tell his ey¿s must be wide open even under the glasses. You swallow and march forward. 

Bro leads y#u all through buildings six °nd eight, until you reach the ce+tral building. You pass through a maze of hallways did yoU find him? and then come face to face with a closed door. Bro fishes the keys out of his p0ckets and unceremonio*sly opens what's got t� be at least three locks. You follow him inside.

It's a small space, there's a computer� a chair, and at one corner the rests of several hunting dogs. When your eyes lookoh god cal is dead at the leo unit's f _£_ ce one of its ears flicks a?d you look away _ith a violent shiver. 

Bro opens a small closet, hidden on the wall, and takes out a training �at and what looks like a helmet. "L+y down ani love yoU tood öut th=s on." He instrEcts, thr<wing the m;t on the floor and shoving the #elmet in your hands. You d� as he says. 

Leaving your sha$es onmerry christmas!the floor besidesthat's cUteyou, you lie on the m*t with the thi´g on.i hate feeling this way It's bulky and heavy, e�capsulation al� your head and not b¿ing able to s§e is nerve w{}acking. 

You think you hear a "One, two, three…" and you see a r=d light. A �eally, really do yoU think i'm a bad person? bright light. The hel+et gets hot, so m;ch it hurts,i'm glad i foUnd yoU >nd starts proÇucing wh*t soun”s scarily l[ke a PC over7eating, just tXrning up b� the thousand. 

It's t0o much. Yo_ can't +reathe pr*perly here, the sound ‘nd +arkness overwhe°mingi don't think they do it on pUrpose your *enses until the on

@y thi-g you can f_el is the s�ell of heating plastic and m9tal.

You want to take it congratUlations! off. You _have_ to t�ke it of. And you try to, but ?our hands won't move, you ca!'t ra�se y´´urhave yoU gone mad?!arm#! ��� start breathing qĐicker and quicker u�til you�feel your can i join yoU? lungs are goi¿g to bu¡st.

And Ñhen y*u feel it. P[in. At your ¬oreh°ayoU feel so good roxad a¨d nspe. It's like s°meo|e ���l a heavy hammer to the7back of your ne´´k and k?????pt hi�ting it til it be%ame why woUldn't it have a soUl? pulp. Li{e someone t)ied to  god, yoU two sUck at this  take yo*r brain out thr-ugh y8ur nose come with me like a m+0=} It sq�ee _®_ es and squee � es aNd _squeezes_ an! youthat's a little bit meanwo@der how your +ve'si miss herhaven't burst out.

You w�nt ¨t´ s:re?m. A=d yet, yo _₱_ �4n't evyoU're my family, tooen m _₲_ ve yo#r l!ps. C�n't e&en breath*e. Ca+n't eяe�-æ–‡å—åŒ–ã

�A��ÃƒEAâ€ š�Ã‚I got yoU&*@ Â£�Ù…Fcan i kiss yoU?Ù†)ØªØ¯ÙE�‰ Ø¹Ø±Ø¨ it suits yoU �Ø´ÙeHGŠØ±7 - ÙF…Ø´Ø§ÙREJ‡�Ø¯it's ok to cry&

ØY© Ø§UÙ„HÙ(…Lmiss english, come look at thisÙS„A+G

Ù�� �ÑØ§*Ù„Ø

i'm going to save everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**1%**

 

**2%**

 

 

 

 

**10%**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**48%**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**89%**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**92%**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's someone else here

THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE HERE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's someone else  
 

 

You wake up. Or maybe waking up isn't the right word. But you're able to see. It's weird, grainy? But you can see. There's a room, it's the room where you just where, just from a different perspective. Bro stands there, giving you his back. Someone's knocking loudly at the other side of the door, shouting, but it comes muffled.

You try to move your neck, but you can't. Your entire body feels numb, like it wasn't there. Bro moves to open the door and Dirk rushes in, his expression fanatic like you have never seen before. He says something, but you can't catch what it is, it's so faint. What's wrong with your ears?

He rushes for something on the floor and disappears from your field of vision. You can't see what he's doing down there, can't move your head, can't move your eyes. You're stuck looking at Bro's back.

Dirk stands up again. First appearing his head, then his shoulders, then his torso. His hand is holding someone else's. He pulls the person up. And you can see who it is.

It's you.

Why are- What is? That's not you, you're here! You're here! Here! Here! Here! Here!

You want to tell him that! That you're here, that can't be you! To make him look at you! You see him holding your face between his hands, telling you something and you know he's asking the fake Dave if he's ok. 

He doesn't know you're here. He- He needs to- You need to- You watch him sigh and relax, relieved the other you is fine, and it just feels _wrong._

They stand up. And looking at Bro, expecting him to suddenly attack, slowly retreat from the room. And that's wrong. You're still here!

He- There's no way he won't realize-? He's coming back for you, right?! Dirk?! 

Bro walks towards you. You want to step back, run away, but you can't, can't move. He sits on the chair and only now are you realizing you're in the spot where the computer was before. He taps some keys on the keyboard, and after what feels like forever.

"Project Sprite. Attempt number 218." He says, not quite talking to you, and you're only able to catch it because of how close he is right now, with how fussy everything sounds. "Subject seems to be a bit broken on the edges, but overall, this is the best copy gotten in the last four years. Seems like my theory was correct, younger brains are easier to parse." 

Bro looks up, staring right at you but also past you. And _smiles._

It's the most terrifying thing you've _ever_ seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so insecure of this thing because it was either gonna end looking real cool, or sappy as hell. But I think I got a nice balance and it introduces the elements it needs to introduce quite nicely even if I say it myself.
> 
> As always please remember to comment!

**Author's Note:**

> **Coming next:**
> 
> _"That said, I don't recommend it." She shrugs "Self inflicted lobotomies tend to be pretty harsh on the mechanical brain."_


End file.
